#if i dont get tagged i may not see it or simply lose it
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bl-bracket · 1 month ago
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Do we submit reasons for the poll characters here? If not then sorry for the long character spiel.
I know there’s hardly any time left for this but I just wanted to send this in to protect one of my comfort characters. Guo Changcheng. For the greenest flag category. So he’s basically just a literal puppy. Thrown to the wolves on his first day of work, he tries hard to connect and help out his coworkers. Clumsy and a bit lost most times, he will do his best to cheer anyone up. Constantly taking notes so that he can be of better help and being the one who always comforts others. He tries his absolute hardest to learn so that he can protect his friends, so much so that it can be detrimental to himself. Has literally pushed through death defying experiences and injuries just to give strangers comfort. (Next part could spoil but only if one knows the show. I don’t think it spoils anything with the way it’s written but just want to write this just in case.) He won’t let you die alone, even if it kills him.
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falseficus · 17 days ago
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if i may play the devil's advocate for a moment -- it doesn't really bother me that most of the fan posting around disco elysium on this site is more focused on the emotional aspects of the game than the political ones. i mean, firstly, it's well-acknowledged that fanworks tend to fill the gaps of unexplored potential in the original work -- ie, envisioning darkness in lighthearted works, re-imagining dark works as lighthearted. a lot of the emotional or relational aspects of disco elysium are left ambiguous, abstract, or at the very least dependent upon player choice and interpretation. this renders them fertile ground for speculative art. by contrast, the game's political statements are, if you have the context to analyze them well, complete. there simply isn't much more to say.
beyond that, those political aspects are also leagues ahead of many other pieces of media in terms of their complexity, nuance, and real-world analysis. that's part of what makes the game so great, and i do think may fans understand that. but, to be honest, being capable of engaging with those aspects of the game (just glance at reddit, and you'll see that many fans don't even reach that level) does not mean that fans are capable of generating that level of work themselves. like, it's simply more mental work to come up with a piece of creative art/writing that expands upon the superb worldbuilding and commentary of DE than it is to write about harry and kim getting goopy nasty. people know how to do the latter because it is a commonly exercised muscle of fandom. the former is almost academic.
that doesn't mean people *shouldn't* engage with the political aspects of the game generatively/creatively. but also... like... maybe it's better this way. seriously, look at reddit, guys. the DE subreddit is full of people *attempting* to engage with the game politically, and the analysis they're putting out is hot steaming dookie. i lose brain cells every time im forced to read another take that earnestly assumes the game positions moralism as the Right and Good Choice for Revachol. on tumblr, analysis is generative, practiced through art/fanfiction... and if i had to see the type of shit i see on reddit on tumblr in the form of fanart, id kill us all.
so anyway, i dont think the fanwork hyperfocus on relationships/emotion indicates that people aren't properly understanding the political points of the game, but simply that those points are much harder for fans to process in a generative way. their underrepresentation in fanwork doesnt particularly indicate anything about the way people are actually receiving and understanding the themes of the game.
except for the people inexplicably clogging the tag with jean viquemare. they do not understand the game and will not see the light of heaven
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amandacanwrite · 9 months ago
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The Violet Thread of Fate Part Three:
The Scribe's Guild and the Acolyte Errant
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Part One || Part Two || Part Three || Part Four || Part Five || Part Six || Part Seven || Part Eight || Join Taglist
Pairing || Elinna Inklynn (Half-drow tav) and Gale Dekarios
Length || 5,400 Words
Scenario || In an alternative timeline for the events of BG3 Elinna Inklynn, an orphan from the Moonshae Islands seeks out the tutelage of accomplished wizard Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep. She has a knack with the Weave, but no money or connections to actually learn how to harness it. She has heard the wizard is a gentleman and a schollar, and hopes she can appeal to him to take her on as his apprentice in exchange for her help around his tower, with his research, and in running errands in Waterdeep. Unfortunately for her, Gale Dekarios does not take on apprentices.
Warnings || Age gap (Perhaps about 10ish years), depiction of depression and heart ache, description of very, very mild body horror. Description of scarring from corporal punishment. Slightly mature themes.
A/n || In the interest of full disclosure: I didn't edit this one. I was too eager to get it out, so please forgive any strange pacing or verbiage. I may edit it tomorrow or sometime soon, but I also primarily write this for fun so I may also not. I actually really enjoyed writing Gale softening up to Elinna a bit, and Elinna sort of losing some of her rose tinted vision for Gale. Perhaps soon they will meet somewhere in the middle. :))
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The Scribe’s Guild
Elinna cupped her hands above her eyes, trying to reduce the urge to squint as she looked out over the edge of one of the craggy cliffside peaks. 
“Are you certain you’re alright up there?” Gale asked from the ground. “Not to be a pain, but you haven’t had the greatest track record with heights as of late.”
“I climbed up here–as long as I don’t try to magic my way down, I should be fine,” she called back. “I’m trying to figure out where we are.”
“Any luck?” he called back. 
“You’re distracting me!” she said. 
“Are you one of those people who can only do one mental process at a time?” he asked. “Do you go blind when your ears are in use?”
“I’m one of those people who needs to think to recall the details of all the maps I’ve cataloged at the Nest,” she griped looking down at him. “Now be quiet so I can think.”
She saw him lift a hand and rub the back of his neck before he turned around and sat down to have a pout. She rolled her eyes looking out over the coastline again, trying to cross reference what she could see from her view with the overhead details of maps she’d looked at before.
Gale Dekarios was certainly a…strange archmage. 
Reading transcripts of conversations, reading his treatises–she’d always pictured this stately, almost dry sort of fellow. Someone who would sniff before correcting her about something–or stand perpetually with his nose pointed at the ceiling so you always knew he was looking down at you past it. 
But he was just…well–a sort of awkward, somewhat humorous man. 
They’d been wandering for some time–Gale had a good sense for what was north, south, east and west, but there was only so much that one could do when unaware of where the starting point was.
The shame of things was that they were in some random locale with very few cities about. She’d learned much about Baldur’s Gate, Amn, Waterdeep–places she wished to visit. If there was Gale’s tower nearby–or perhaps Sorcerous Sundries–she could have been able to pluck it out of the landscape with ease. 
Instead, as she looked out off the cliff, she only saw shoreline give way to worn out cobbled roads. Some sort of village obscured the haze of distance and…well nothing familiar. She pursed her lips before chewing slightly on the bottom one; a nervous habit that often left her with metallic-tasting patches on the inside of her lip. 
“Well?” Gale said a bit impatiently. 
She was just about to give him the bad news–that she found nothing of note and had no idea which way to go–when a shadow darkened the ground from somewhere overhead. She looked up to find a black blot against the light blue of the sky–a dire raven with a wingspan of about 10 feet, armored in the colors of a the Scribe’s Guild; pale tan leathers, brass metal and mist green canvas. 
She found herself smiling despite the fact that she’d told herself she’d never look at a Scribe’s Guild after leaving The Nest. She watched for a while longer as the large avian swooped through the sky and then landed on the parapet of a distant stone structure. 
“We’re in luck!” she called down to Gale.
“Are we?” he asked. “You didn’t happen to have found a cleric of legendary skill up there did you?”
“Not that much luck,” she said as she started to climb down the rocky face of the cliff.
“Are you sure you ought to be doing that?” he asked. “It seems awfully dangerous.”
“As we just covered, I’ll be fine so long as I don’t use magic,” she responded. “I’m used to climbs.”
Looking down to find her perch, she carefully lighted her foot on the boulder where she started her climb, and turned to find Gale waiting for her, a single hand offered up to her to assist her down from the small height. 
“You don’t have to do that,” she said. “It’s not that high up.”
“Best not to risk it,” he said. “The twist of an ankle could mean the difference between humanity and ceremorphosis, considering our plight.”
Elinna nibbled on her lower lip and nodded, placing her hand in his. His calloused fingers closed around her hand and he lifted his other hand to grasp her waist. She stepped off the stone and he supported her weight easily, lowering her to the ground smoothly. 
“So,” he said, not taking his hands away yet. “You’ve kept me in suspense, Elinna. Why are we in luck?”
“I just saw a Dire Raven,” she said. “One of the ones we use to transport records between different chapters of the Scribe’s Guild.”
“The what?” he asked. 
“The Scribe’s guild,” she said. “I told you, I was their ward in the Moonshae Islands.”
“Did you?” he asked. 
She sighed and gave him a disappointed look. “You really didn’t listen to me at all back in Waterdeep.”
His hand twitched on her waist as his brow furrowed. “Well that’s hardly fair,” he said. “You were a stranger standing right outside of my home. Why should I have?”
“Courtesy,” she said sourly as she turned away from him and started to walk down the pathway in the direction she watched the dire raven fly. 
She tried to ignore the tingling feeling in the tips of her fingers as her hand left his; the feeling of absence at her waist as she lost the weight of his hand. 
“Oh, come now–” he said, his face screwing with offense and hurrying after her. “Don’t imply that I was being discourteous when you were the one showing up at a strange man’s home unannounced!”
“It’s not as if I let myself in!” she said back. 
“Wait, you still haven’t told me what the Scribe’s Guild is,” he said, finally catching up to her.
“I assumed you would know what it is,” she said looking sidelong and up at him.
“I confess I’ve not heard of it,” he said. 
She sighed and looked ahead. Maybe she didn’t want to tell him if he didn’t already know, she thought. She wasn’t sure she was ready to reveal just how sheltered her life was before heading to Waterdeep. 
But they were now headed for the local archive and he was going to find out either way so…
“The scribe’s guild is a redundancy,” she said. “It’s one of the realm’s most extensive collections of information. If you’re looking for a book, a scroll, a record of some obscure property dispute… you can find it there. I was raised in one.”
“So, you’re a scribe?” he asked her. “You write books–collect this information and dole it out to those who need it?”
She pursed her lips. “I wasn’t a scribe myself,” she said. “I was a clerk.”
“So you were in training,” he said. “Assisting the scribes so that you could take on the task.”
She felt her skin pinken with warmth, afraid to disclose the truth–afraid of what it would look like. “Not quite,” she said. “The ArchLibrarian thought I wasn’t suited to the work.”
“Why not?” he asked. 
“Because I was too fun,” she said, her walls going up a little higher. “If you must know.”
“My,” he said. “Did I hit a nerve?”
“It seems like you’re looking for reasons to think poorly of me,” she said. 
“It seems like you’re hiding reasons to think poorly of you,” he said. “So, what was it? Sleeping on the job? Theft? Did you try to cast a cantrip and  Did you come looking for me because they turned you out and cut you off?”
“Gods,” she said looking up at him, a little line forming between her brows and her face getting even warmer with embarrassment. “You really do think I’m a wastrel, don’t you?”
“No I don’t!” he said. 
“What happened to you being worried about seeming an ill-mannered man?” she asked.
“Elinna–you’re young–youth is made for mistakes. You think I was always an upstanding young man while in attendance at Blackstaff?” he said. “I slept through most of my Calashite lessons.”
“Don’t lie to me to try and get dirt on me,” Elinna said as she walked faster.. “Don’t mock me like that.”
“Elinna–Elinna, would you slow down?” he said. 
“No. I want to get to the Scribe’s Guild.”
“We will get there with plenty enough time before sundown,” he said, grabbing her arm. “Elinna, stop.”
She stopped but didn’t look up at him, she couldn’t make herself do it. She didn’t know what was more embarrassing for her; the fact that she’d hardly seen any of the world, the fact that her guardians felt she was inept and flighty, or the fact that she was quite acting like a petulant child with Gale when she only wished to prove to him that she could be a good student. 
Maybe seeking him out had been a mistake from the start. She’d spent so long reading about Gale and his work–learning about his unique understanding of magic–reading his writings…in some ways she’d convinced herself that he was already a friend. 
She’d never thought about how trying to become his apprentice also meant sharing her qualifications and the more time she spent talking to him the more she realized she had none. 
She could feel him looking at her almost indulgently–like a man speaking to a child. 
She didn;t know why she hated that most of all. 
“Elinna, forgive me for prying,” he said. “I was just trying to get to know you a little better. From what I can tell there is a significant distance between here and Waterdeep and it will be a much more pleasant journey if we get to know one another a little bit as we travel, don’t you think?”
Elinna smoothed her amber hair away from her brow, cupping her hand on her forehead as if checking herself for fever. 
“I’m sorry,” she said, finally. . “I think I’m just tired.”
“I can only imagine…what with going from the islands, to Waterdeep so climbing up cliff sides and now we have to walk even further? We can swap notes later,” he said with a gentle smile. “Let’s focus on getting to this place–maybe they can put us up for an evening or at least point us in the direction of the nearest town.”
Elinna nodded before heaving a great sigh. 
“It shouldn’t be long,” she said. “Maybe just a few hours of walking from here.”
“Excellent,” he said. “Lead on.”
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The Acolyte Errant
Elinna was a curious girl. 
She was somehow equal measures breezy and intense; lackadaisical and earnest. He didn’t know what to make of the dichotomy. He knew even less what to do with the strange secrecy she had about her former home. 
Perhaps it was a bit of paranoia–after all, he had his own secrets he was keeping. It was perhaps more than a little hypocritical of him to fault her for hers. 
“So, tell me more about The Scribe’s Nest,” he said, trying to change the subject to something more informative and a little less personal.
“Specifically The Nest? Or the guild in general?” she asked. 
“Mm…if it’s not too personal for you, The Nest. You said that’s where you grew up right?” he said. 
She nodded, wiping sweat off her brow. The day was beginning to get hot, so he had to think they were further down south than Waterdeep and the islands. It was much cooler this time of year–hence the layers both he and Elinna wore. 
“Uhm–The Nest in Moonshae is in an old abandoned temple to Ilmater,” she told him. “My mother left me there thinking that it was a safe place for me to grow up–thinking I’d be cared for by clerics. But The Nest was already there.”
“I see,” Gale said, feeling for the girl but trying not to let it come through in his tone. “I suppose they took you in anyway?”
She nodded again. “They did,” she said. “Still not sure why, if I’m honest–they have a few oaths they had to make in exchange for financial support. Even so, there were other temples in the area that probably could have taken me in. But uh–anyway. The way that the scribes work is they receive funds from the local government and they use those funds to pay a fleet of scouts to get word back to us about the goings on in the world. The scribes record it, make copies of each account and send them to the other branches.”
“Hells,” he said. “That sounds like quite the expensive endeavor.”
“It is–and the scribes outsource the work so that there’s no conflict of interest. No scribes out wandering the world trying to spin tales. They have a motto: ‘We Are The Accuracy In The Indulgent The Composed in the Chaotic.’” She said. “In other words, they try to record everything as plainly and as closely to the facts as possible. In addition to that, they try to have copies of every written work ever produced.”
“How can that even be quantified or verified for that matter?” Gale asked. 
“Like I said–they try,” she said. “It’s all very tedious if you ask me.”
“I’m shocked I haven’t heard of this place–it sounds like a veritable treasure trove of knowledge,” he said. 
“The scribes don’t open the vaults to many,” she said. “They consider their work one of posterity; a record of history, not a resource to be plumbed. They don’t even really indulge in reading the records themselves.”
“That sounds….extraordinarily wasteful,” He said. 
He saw Elinna finally crack a smile at that. “I couldn’t agree more,” she said. “Wasteful, boring, depressing.”
He was itching to ask her if that was why she’d left what she’d had as a home for…well however long she’d been alive. She looked remarkably young, but with half-elves that hardly meant much. For all he knew she was his age. 
“Elinna, do you mind if I ask how old you are?” he asked. 
She looked up at him, her brow quirking. “Uhm–I’ve had twenty-eight summers so far,” she said. “Why do you ask?”
Ah–around ten years younger than he was. No wonder she seemed so restless when she’d come to find him at his tower. Most Wizards were well into their studies at Blackstaff by now, or at least had some reasonable amount of aptitude with the weave. “Just curious,” he said shrugging. “You look young but you’re also not complaining, or panicking, or well–other things I would expect a young person to be doing in this situation.”
He wasn’t sure if he was reading it correctly, but he could have sworn that she pressed her lips a bit to avoid smiling. Was the poor girl such a stranger to praise that the simple pointing out of her maturity could make her have to stop a flustered smile from forming on her lips?”
“I guess I just feel like anything is preferable to being stuck in that dusty old tower,” she said. 
There was a sort of…sadness to her words. A quality he recognized first hand. 
Not sadness, he realized as he saw one of his own feelings mirrored back at him. Regret. 
But that was not a subject he wished to bring up–not when the questions could so easily be turned back onto him.
“Well, Elinna,” he said, changing the subject. “You have Gale of Waterdeep with you–I’m a captive audience as we walk to the guild hall. Anything I can impress you with?” 
It was an olive branch, of sorts. It, of course, wasn’t the first time he’d met some hopeful magician who wanted to pick his brain. Usually he politely shooed them away, but he figured that extending the offer might cheer her up.
“I’m quite well read on the subject,” she answered. 
Wait…had he missed the question while he was patting himself on the back for being open to bragging? “Sorry–which subject is that?” he asked.
Her face flushed and she gave him a furtive look with those pretty green eyes. She cleared her throat and pushed some hair behind her ear. 
“Uhm–you–” she said finally. “I’ve read everything the archive has that even has a tangential mention of your name in it.”
He blinked, feeling glad for the fact that she was looking most pointedly away from him. “Ah,” he said, trying to master his tone. “Well–should we crosscheck the scribe’s records? Tell me what you know and I can correct anything that’s wrong.”
“We’ll be here for hours if I do that…” she mumbled under her breath. 
Now it was his turn to flush–until he realized–
“Wait, I thought you said that the scribes don’t read the records–” he said. 
“I did,” she said, looking over at him with a sheepish little smile. “That’s why they said I’m not suited for the work. It’s why they keep me on shelving duty.”
Ah–that was what she meant when she said she was used to climbing.
Suddenly there was an uncomfortable pressure in his skull as he saw flashes of giant stacks of dusty tomes, heard the squeaking of a half-broken wheel on a cart, felt rawness on his fingertips from shelving books and records; the deep ache of tired muscles.
When he was able to focus again, Elinna was crouched a few feet ahead, her gloved hands pressing on the sides of her head. 
“W-was that a memory?” Gale asked. “Did you just send me a memory?”
“No,” she said weakly. “Gods…that was…I could feel you in my head–”
“I didn’t–it wasn’t something I did on purpose,” he said frantically. 
He felt as embarrassed as a young man might be during his first time with a lover. It’d been years since he’d accidentally used his magic. Not since he was an adolescent. 
“I think it’s the parasite,” she said. “Mindflayers are part of a hive mind–maybe it’s the start of that tether forming to it.”
“I’m loath to face that possibility, but you may be right,” Gale said grimly as he walked over to her and offered a hand. “You alright?”
“Just exhausted, I think,” she said as she took his hand. “It felt like the parasite was pulling at the seams of my mind, extracting those images like thread through the eye of a needle.”
“Aptly put,” he said, finally helping her up. 
“Let’s just hurry to the guild,” she said. 
It was a bit of a grueling trek after that. The pathway mostly uphill and on rocky, uneven pathways. Wherever this guild branch was, it was clear enough to him that the scribes had no interest in being bothered or visited. He wasn’t so worried about himself, though–if anything, he was worried about Elinna. 
Thinking about it–she’d originally mentioned that she was looking for a place to live when he met her and she’d asked him to take her on as a student. He wondered when the last time she’d slept was. It wasn’t uncommon for passengers unused to traveling by ship to sleep poorly on them. The voyage between the Moonshae Islands and Waterdeep was probably close to a tenday, give or take a day or two. 
He felt a little guilty, now, that he had let her climb up the cliffside to help them get their bearings; that he couldn’t be of more assistance with some kind of charm or boon. 
As predicted, it took them about another two hours to make it to the base of a decaying old castle. He didn’t recognize it, and from what he could tell there were no real markings on it to distinguish what lineage or people it could have belonged to at one point. 
He looked up as another dire raven–or perhaps the same one he hadn’t seen before–took flight from one of the crumbling parapets, then he looked over at Elinna. 
She was still damp with sweat, but her exerted flush had given way to an almost sickly sort of pallor. He worried for a moment that she may already be starting the process of ceremorphosis–but if that was the case, why hadn’t the same happened to him? 
“Fucking stairs,” she groaned as she bent over and braced her hands on her knees. “I think I may need to sit for just a moment.”
Gale looked at the stairs and then back at her. He quirked his lips slightly, weighing the number of stairs against the health of his knees. 
“I know once you sit it will be all the more difficult for you to get up and get going,” he said. “Let me carry you the rest of the way.”
She balked at him, her verdant eyes wide and a bit of her flush returning to her freckled cheeks. He tried not to think about how charming the look of surprise was. “Y-you can’t,” she said. “I’m filthy–and drenched besides. And I’ll be too heavy.”
“Nonsense,” he insisted. “You hardly come up to my shoulder–and it’s not as if I’m a fine example of cleanliness at the moment. You can tell me proper decorum as we make our way up.”
“Gale–”
“I won’t take no for an answer,” he said with a little teasing glimmer in his eyes. 
He kneeled in front of her, back toward her, and patted his shoulder. “Climb on,” he said. 
There was nothing for a moment and he almost looked back to see if she was going to stubbornly refuse. But just as he was going to, he felt tentative fingertips on his right shoulder; then his left. She smoothed her hand toward the front of him, drawing a tingling line along his collarbones. He tried not to flinch as her hands joined right over the spot the orb burned in his chest, but he couldn’t stop it. 
She froze and almost started withdrawing. He reached up and closed a single hand over both of hers. 
“Did I hurt you?” she asked him.
“Not at all,” he said. “Remember–I’ve been a recluse for some time. Just forgot what it felt like to be touched by someone who isn’t a tressym.”
There was one more moment of hesitation and then finally, Elinna put her weight onto him, hitching her legs above his hips. 
“Alright,” he said. “Going up.”
He scooped his hands under her knees and rose to his feet. 
Truth be told, she was a touch heavier than he’d expected. And he realized with a bit of rueful interest that her body was a little…softer…than he’d anticipated. Even through her layers of canvas and leather, he could feel the supple swell of her thighs, her hips, her breasts…
He shook his head and cleared his throat as he started to climb the stairs. 
“So, what’s our story?” he asked. 
“Mmn–story?” she breathed against his ear. 
Gods, she sounded like a freshly roused lover in the morning. 
“You’re not falling asleep back there, are you?” he asked. 
“Trying not to,” she said. “I’m sorry.”
“Keep talking to me,” he said. “It will help you stay awake.”
And give me something to stop my mind from drifting to what might be beneath your clothes. He thought with no shortage of disgust in himself. 
“Mmh–visitors are prohibited, usually,” she said, her sleepy slurring sending a chill up his spine. “Since you’re carrying me in…maybe tell them you found me unconscious on the ground. They can refuse scholars, but they have an oath to help the needy. Hence…me…”
“The lady deceives,” Gale teased. “I thought you were above such dishonesty.”
She gave a quiet chuckle. “If the guild needs a bit of encouragement to do what is right, who am I to deny it?” Then after a moment. “Thank you…for carrying me. You didn’t have to do that.”
“It’s no bother,” he said. 
And it really wasn’t, aside from his own traitorous thoughts about her. His knees weren’t even tired when he reached the top of the stairs. He looked back at her sidelong. “Hang onto me will you–afraid I’ll need one of these hands.”
He regretted asking her to do that immediately. Her thighs squeezed a little tighter around his middle and he suddenly wished for death. He opened the door as quickly as he could, and went back to holding her knee. 
Inside there was…no one to be found. At least not at first. 
Then came the sound of soft soles scuffing on stone stairs. He gazed to the right, seeing a shadow elongate as it grew further and further away from some torch or sconce further up on the stairs. 
A moment later, a wizened man peered at him through small spectacles on a crooked nose. 
He was dressed somewhat like Elinna, though the embroidery and fastenings on his clothes were finer. On his lapel, he wore a golden dire raven pin with a quill snatched in it’s beak.The pin was connected to a chain from which dangled a single golden key. 
“You’ve reached The Scribe’s Perch,” he said, his voice quiet and willowy, like it had frayed through years of neglect. “I fear we’re not taking visitors.”
In front of Gale’s chest, Elinna’s arms went slack and her body went a little heavier. Her head rested fully on his shoulder, her sleeping breaths gusting warmly on the back of his neck. He supposed it worked better for the tale he had to weave–though he did worry for the poor girl. 
“I’ve found one of your acolytes on the path some way away from here. She seems feverish–likely hungry and dehydrated. She’s gone in and out of consciousness but told me to find you here and ask for you help. Help for both of us.”
The old man merely tilted to get a look at Elinna with a somewhat disinterested expression. “Mnh…there are protocols in place for this, yes,” he said. “An inconvenience to say the least, though. We will have to make arrangements for your supper.”
Gale felt his ire flare and found himself understanding why Elinna seemed so sour about where she’d been reared. It was a wonder she made it out of childhood with her curiosity and her tenacity intact. 
“If it’s too much of a bother, I can see to producing a meal for us,” he said, trying his best to master his tone. 
“No, no,” the man said. “The smells–the oils–they could upset the balance and focus of the archives. Come–I will see you to a lodging for the night. I am afraid I must ask you to stay there and to not wander our halls freely. And you must leave come morning.”
“I thought you had an oath to help the needy,” Gale said. 
“The qualifying criteria which defines who or what is needy is not agreed upon,” he said. “The girl is unconscious, but you stand and walk freely. Surely she is hardly needy if she has you.”
“She’s one of your acolytes,” Gale said. “Surely you can’t be so callous.”
“She’s not an acolyte from The Perch. We do not allow women among our ranks–their scents and scintillations bring focus away from posterity. I allow you to stay only because she still wears our colors and because we’ve received no missive about a disgraced acolyte,” he said. “But there has been a great collision on the shoreline and we work tirelessly to record it.”
“Well you’re in luck–we’re survivors from that crash–we can help you–”
“No. We only accept the accounts of verified scouts,” he said. “Now come–I’ve wasted precious time already. My quill will have started to dry out.”
Gale bit his tongue and simply nodded–worried that if the man showed is rudeness and disinterest again he would snap at the Scribe and lose them a night of rest and the chance to bathe and change. 
Their ungracious host led them up the stairs, past a massive steel door singing with wards, and to a doorway about as tall as Elinna. The Scribe opened the lock with his tiny golden key–a skeleton key it seemed–and gestured him inside. 
Gale bent a bit at the knees, careful to mind Elinna’s head as he ducked into the room. 
“Thank you,” he said. 
“Supper is at seven bells. Porridge, roasted carrots and river fish–you will have to come retrieve it yourself–the kitchens are down the stairs we traveled up and through the small northern wooden door,” their host said. 
And with that, the man simply closed the door and left Gale alone with Elinna. 
Gale looked about the room. 
It was small, about the size of the larder in his tower, and barren. In one corner, a threadbare sheet hung to offer pock-marked privacy should one bathe in the water-swollen, wooden tub there. There was a single desk with a nearly-spent candle perched slantingly in a chamberstick made of brass. Against the far wall stood the bed–
The Bed. 
Singular. 
Only one bed. 
Oh hells, it would be a very long night indeed. 
He carried Elinna over to the bed and carefully cradled her against his back as he pulled back the mildew-smelling covers. Beneath was an old hay mattress. He felt loath to place her on it, but he hadn’t enough energy to conjure something more comfortable for her. 
He supposed it didn’t matter for tonight–the poor girl just needed some sleep. 
He carefully placed her in the bed and hesitated, pondering.
She’d spent so much time during their travels complaining of the feeling of viscera in her clothes; her shoes. He could only imagine how terrible it would feel for her to wake up, warm and damp from feverish sleep, only to still feel soggy boots and garments on your body. 
It wasn’t proper. He wasn’t even sure it would be welcome. But it was a gesture toward her comfort he could actually provide. 
He carefully slipped off her boots, setting them off to the side in a blood-soaked heap. Then he removed her leather gloves, and finally, the waistcoat she wore. 
Beneath her green canvas, she wore a simple muslin dress that fell just slightly off the shoulders. He noted with a bit of curious mirth, that she had a smattering of freckles across the bare skin of her decolletage and arms as well. He wondered how many times she’d had to sneak away from her duties to get those. 
Then he saw something else. 
On the inside of one delicate wrist, he spotted the hint of a violet patch of skin. In a brief panic he turned her arm over to get a better view of it, worried that her transformation may be starting, after all. 
Instead, what he found was scarring. Violet scars forming a ladder of tidy caning marks on the tender skin of the inside of her arm. 
“No wonder you wanted to get out,” he said under his breath as he brushed his thumb against the marks. They were only barely raised. They’d been there a long time then. For some reason it hurt his heart to think of a smaller, squeakier Elinna as her caretakers tried and clearly failed to tame the wonder out of her. 
Perhaps it was because he had also been punished severely for his ambition and thirst for knowledge, but he could no longer bear to see her in the greens, tans and creams of The Scribe’s Guild. Not when there was so much she’d had to fight to keep hold of. 
He thought he could maybe find a pocket somewhere. If he rested he ought to be able to, anyway. Or if not, he could try to look around the grounds and scrounge something up for each of them to change into. And maybe a few supplies for setting up camp, too, since they wouldn’t be granted time to catch their bearings at The Perch. 
He pulled the worn blanket up enough to cover her arms, but not so high that the smell of mildew could wake her. 
He walked over to the tiny door and looked back over his shoulder one more time to make sure she was still quite asleep. 
And then he slipped out of their sorry room to find a place to restore himself. 
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the-s1lly-corner · 5 months ago
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Can I ask D (distrust), P (protective) and I (Injury) (angst alphabet) for Sir Pentious?
Sir Penious w/ D, P, I (angst alphabet)
Woo yeah first angst alphabet post YIPEE!!
Prompts: distrust, protective, injury
Notes: reader is GN, although like most of my other alphabet posts we're focusing heavily on the canon character, established relationship, prompt I was written before P sooo... wording may be a little confusing since P references I!
CWs: vague injuries and blood, talk of death as a hypothetical for P, mentions of panic attacks
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DISTRUST
i think it would be really interesting if the two of you were friendly with one another prior to him joining the hotel... i think you can see where im going with this-
you of course find out he was plotting to rat you all out to vox, and while some members of the hotel are quick to forgive (charlie), or simply dont care (husk), youre crushed. bonus points if youve already told him you wanted to go to the hotel to try to better yourself
to you it looks like he just... went and tried to ruin that for you, which in a way yeah thats what he did even if it wasnt a personal attack on you
it takes a while for you to trust him again, you dont just bounce back from that sort of thing..
he tries to get you to hear him out on his apology as well as leaving you small things he knows you like; treats, trinkets, stuff like that
its not until charlie says something that he gives you space
you can tell hes also crushed, and he blames no one but himself
funnily enough, i think if you did the same thing back it would break his trust too... at least after he commits himself to redeeming himself. that may make him a hypocrite, but in a way that adds to the hurt...
PROTECTIVE
so so protective of you, even if he doesnt have a reason to be
likes having one of his egg boiz follow you around in case you need assistance, hes a lot more lax if nothing has happened to make him worry his head off for you
actually, he thinks youre quite strong! you have your strengths that can help you in a fight, or to avoid on... and he trusts you!
but what if something does happen!
as mentioned in the I portion, hes going to be hovering around you after any incidents; you getting injured, robbed, snatched, or even killed (if youre a sinner and you were killed by normal hell circumstances), not only does he send his egg boiz with you but he might tag along with you if he can
if he cant i can easily see him passing you a weapon... please take it... for his peace of mind...
stays up at night blaming himself for not being there for you when you needed him.. he didnt want to seem clingy or controlling so he let you go out alone, and while yes he does still want you to have your freedom and space... hes scared that its going to happen again... what if something happens during an extermination?
for the first few weeks after any incidents he can be jumpy
INJURY
I WAS going to reference my I headcanon from the fluff alphabet but i realize... i skipped it! so... yeah!
i can imagine theres a difference between seeing you hurt but untreated, and seeing you hurt but treated... and since this prompt tackles the untreated version...
he probably tries to keep himself together as he tries to stop the bleeding, or trying to remove anything that may be lodged into your body...
but hes so very clearly putting on an act, hes so so scared of losing you
even if youre a sinner and youve just been attacked under normal circumstances, no angelic weapons, he still doesnt want to see you in this way.. especially if hes done his best to try to prevent you from getting hurt
the type to just his bare hands to try to stop the bleeding if theres nothing else to press to the wound, it just makes things worse because his hands keep slipping and harshly rubbing into the wound... his claws arent making anything any easier
likely loses himself at a point and just shuts down, he kind of goes into shock himself as he tries to save you- despite his best efforts to remain composed and to keep himself anchored to the moment his mind begins to slip
if youre a sinner and you regenerate, hes going to be lingering around you even closer than ever before. he refuses to let you leave his sight for a while
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Chapter One : ~ The Beginning ~
a pretty short chapter but that’s okay!! I’m pretty proud of it, and I think that’s all that matters!! (Tagging : @magpiesquill x 3) No trigger warnings for this part! This is also not proof read so dont be scared to point out mistakes!!
“Come on! Come on! Hurry up, we don’t have time to lose!” 
Yelling quickly woke Mallory, the poor fifteen year old, up from his nap. “H- huh? Wha. . .” He looked around his treehouse, dazed and confused. Looking up, he sees his friend, Theo, looking panicked and rushed. 
Theo walks up to Mallory, grabbing his hand and pulling him up to his feet. “What the heck are you doing here?!” she asked, sounding annoyed. “We have to get to The House, quick! Did you forget that today is the day of the sacrifice, you fool! Up, up!” 
Crap.
That seemed to have gotten Mallory awake, as he stood up straighter. “Already? Oh Holy Father, forgive me. . .” He muttered under his breath, now beginning to feel as panicked as Theo did. “I thought that was weeks away, I didn’t— ”
“It doesn’t matter what you think! Fix yourself up, change, and come out once you do!” Theo sighed before letting go to leave by climbing down the ladder.
The treehouse was not too big, but not too small. All it had was a small pile of blankets and a few boxes full of various things. The only reason this place even exists was because it was Mallory’s hideaway whenever things got too much.
He looked through a box before grabbing a simple poet’s shirt and black pants. Nothing too much, as that would be inappropriate for this occasion. Changing quickly, he then put his old clothes away before climbing down the treehouse.
His feet hit the ground with a light thud, Theo’s gaze falling upon him once he arrived. “Ah, I thought you’d take longer.” she said drily, grabbing Mallory’s hand before the two began to walk. “Seriously, you probably took more time than my mother.”
“Hey!” Mallory frowned, yanking his hand away from Theo’s. “Why are you– ”
“Shut up. We don’t have time to argue, and would The Family approve of you insulting your sister?” Theo asked smugly, not even bothering to look back at Mallory.
“But you– ”
“Hurry up.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Mallory stood near Theo, watching as The Priestess walked up onto the podium. People were all around, almost everyone seemed to want to move closer to the stage.
“Settle down, settle down everyone.” The Priestess said in a soft voice, yet despite the softness everyone seemed to listen and stop moving.
Mallory let out a silent sigh.
“Now, as everybody may know, today is the special day where we choose a sacrifice for The Family. We live to serve them, and being a sacrifice is one of the utmost honors any one person could have.” The Priestess paused, looking around the crowd before continuing. Mallory could have swore her gaze lasted on him for just a second longer than needed. “Now, onto the selection process. Everyone of age must write their name down onto a sheet of paper and put it into the pail that corresponds to said person’s sex. You may move.”
With that, people began to move towards the front, and that is when Mallory found out why people wanted to get to the front. The papers were up there, and like The Priestess said, this is a very important thing. The Family has provided all of them with the life they needed! The people outside simply didn’t know how wonderful it is with The Family.
Mallory had never signed up before, mainly because he’s never gotten the chance to. The lines were always too long and the only time he was able to sign his name (which was when he was of age at fourteen), his name wasn’t called. He sighed to himself, hoping that at least someone gets to fulfill the role he wishes he had.
“Well? Why are you standing there?” Theo asked, raising a brow at Mallory. “Come on, we can cut the line, you know.”
“Wh. . . no, that isn’t truthful nor fair.” Mallory shook his head.
“Stop being soo good for once and come on.” Theo rolled her eyes before grabbing Mallory’s wrist and dragging him through people.
For every person Theo made them bump into was a sorry that came out of Mallory’s mouth. He didn’t know how to feel, he was cutting the line of people just like him who wanted to be the sacrifice, but he also didn’t know how to fight against Theo. The two have been friends for years, born together and raised together. 
Though, they were also experimented on, if someone could say that. All that happened is that Mallory was raised more female like while Theo was raised more masculine like, hence the names. Mallory doesn’t even remember being feminized except for when he was told he was actually a male. Even so, it’s what he knew so it’s what he was. Even though they tried to masculize him, he was always a little bit feminine. In his treehouse, one of the boxes had dresses and feminine clothing in it. He just genuinely enjoyed it, even if it was wrong. It was their fault he was like this, not his.
Once the two got up to the front, they sneakily waited for the person writing their name to finish. Then, Mallory and Theo went up. Theo smirked smugly as she heard the people behind them either sound angry or confused, while Mallory just wanted to do this quickly.
Writing his name was the easy part, however little did he know, he accidentally put his name into the woman’s pail. Maybe it was because he saw Theo put her name into the one that he just assumed that the one nearest to him was the male one.
Theo then grabbed Mallory’s hand and dragged her away while giggling to herself. “Aw, finally. You should have seen the faces of everyone. They were properly pissed! Heh. . .” she giggled again.
“I did see their faces, I was there with you.” Mallory mumbled.
“Whatever, come on, we should take a seat.” she hummed happily, letting go of his hand and running off. He sighed before reluctantly running after her.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“This year's female and male sacrifices are. . .” The Priestess called out, putting both of her hands into each pail. Luckily, Theo was able to get the perfect seats for them, not too far from the stage yet not too close where it would be loud and they would have the best view of The Priestess.
She pulled one paper out from the male pail and another from the female one.
“Our sacrifices are. . .”
Mallory looked over to Theo who looked oddly sure of herself. Meanwhile, Mallory was starting to panic. Maybe he didn’t want to die, at least not now. He still wanted to do things. He still wanted to live in his treehouse. He. . . he still wanted to—
“Mallory Rosary and Theo Greenston!”
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spaceyflowers · 2 years ago
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Do you have headcanons about lookism + htf characters that you haven't talked about in a post before?
OH yeah um. a lot, but some are def leaning towards ooc/very self indulgent LMAO so i'm sorry if u look at these and go "they would NOT do that" its true to me 💔
i'll list 5 for both series!
thank u for showing interest, and also anyone else is welcome to reply/reblog with their headcanons bc theyre always fun to see <3 !!
(btw sorry if i have shared some of these b4, if i did they were prob in my tags and i just forgot 😭)
×
LOOKISM
-mary kim; she has a muscular figure with a lil tummy ! naturally started losing weight and building muscle while doing judo as a sport and exercising in general. she's still a little sensitive about her weight due to bullying when she was younger and at a larger size, but shes happy where she is now. she'll beat ur ass if u shit talk her weight but if u do it behind her back, vin jin will step in if he catches u ^_^
-jay; hes selectively mute, it formed mainly from his social anxiety but also because he's naturally an introvert and was neglected during his developing childhood stages, so that snowballed into selective mutism ! (saying this just bc i like having reasons for everything rather than just make him not being able to talk a Unique Character Trait Thing) i also have a whole ass backstory idea for him but i'll only share if someone's interested 😭 tbh tho i might get too attached to it and ignore canon if his real backstory ever comes out LMAOOO
-leonn; i ABSOLUTELY fucking refuse to have the only woman in the architecture department be there just bc she has a crush on some fucking guy (not an insult to vasco, simply an angry comment directed towards gross heteronormativity and the shitty use of female characters). anyways she mistook her deep admiration for vasco as romantic feelings
-warren; has a blackhole stomach. everyone in hostel is wary about wasted food bc theyre,, not very well off to say the least so anything they dont like/cant finish they give to warren and he happily chows down ^_^ also yeah hes not very picky about what he eats !!
-vin jin; the easiest way to tell he's embarrassed is when his ears go red. (jace, too... for obvious reasons) its hard to catch him blush under his shades sometimes! this may or may not also be the reason he grew out his hair ^_^
HOW TO FIGHT
-snapper has become such a talented cameraman he is now great at secretly recording things to blackmail his friends LMAAOAO (obviously nothing serious tho, snapper's not evil 😭)
-rumi has a habit of petting people's heads affectionately 💖
-jisoo's ass is rotting in jail! ^_^
-taehun is a child magnet. you'd think he'd scare off kids but nope they all wanna play with him. and he acts like he hates this fact yet he always plays with the kids or at least entertains them a little (when hes not busy). altho he does hate this fact; babies are always staring at him (yknow that one science study or whatever that said babies stare at pretty people? yeah.)
-THE GIRLS ARE ALL BESTIES!!!!!! bomi, gyeoul, rumi, and gaeul <3 bomi is the calm collected smart one, rumi is also the smart one but more bubbly, gyeoul is the little goblin they kinda have to keep on a leash and gaeul's dumb of ass pure of heart <3
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jonahmagnus · 2 years ago
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~•☆Hello! Welcome to my blog ☆•~
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☆ Hey, whats up, Im the Sphinx of Vows ☆
☆ Im Jonah / Amos Moses / Hagfish / Perihelion
☆ It/its he/him vow/vows
☆ I FUCKING HATE HZBIN HTEL
☆ I dont like im/aax sorry. Dont tag my posts as it.
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☆ Magnus Archives yuriposter
Artist poster tumblrina himedanshi and cunt
@ocglaze @aroseofice @collinsloinne
Im busy w college rn no kofi or comms
🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸 Free Palestine 🇵🇸🇵🇸🇵🇸 daily click | Ola's fundraiser | Skaik Fundraiser
Guys Im bigender. Any identity I have is literally mspec by default. Come on. Just say you hate bigender people and move on. Dear lird.
☆ Go Read Paranatural ☆
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Beautiful Cody image by my friend @alrtic!
I hate proshippers
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~•☆ See you later! ☆•~
WARNINGS:
♤ I am a hater. I may be mean about something you like. Shrugs. If I say I hate something and then proceed to talk about hating it and you dont like it simply unfollow xo
♤ I am into a lot of horror. Block "horror", "terror", or "body horror" if you're not into that.
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[Image description: A flashing blinkie reading “Viomax enthusiast" in a fancy font. There are two pink roses on either side of the text. The text is red-pink like the roses, the background is black, and the border is red. End id.] made by (and matching with) @junk-thrillz
[Image description: A red userbox. On it, a gif of my former kin, Damara Medigo, is smoking a cigarette. Behind me is an aromantic flag. The border of the box is dark red. The text itself reads "this user is the hottest person on the site." End id.]
[Image description: The introduction panel of the Sphinx of Vows, cropped into a banner. This cropping cuts off her ears and the bottom bit of the image. On a semi transparent, black banner, is the text "cunt served" in dark souls font. The text is colored in a gradient of the lesbain flag. End id.]
[Banner id: A screenshot of an anonymous ask, that reads as following: "please tag davy hes just so ugly it hurts my eyes and i have to keep going to the hospital every time i see him and i have to tell the doctor, mr doctor i saw a man so ugly that it physically hurt my eyeballs and the doctor said it cant be that bad, so i showed the doc a pic of davy, and he screamed in pain and cried blood and said u were right and i was so wrong to have doubted u". The word "Davy" has been obviously edited over another name. End id.](Image credit to my bestie @alrtic <3 Alan ilysm)
[Icon id: A headshot of the Sphinx of Vows from Paranatural. Its her introduction shot, and it shows her face and one paw. The transmasc flag is behind her. End id.]
[Divider id(s): A gif of small pink cherry blossoms connected by golden vines. They are glittering lightly. End id.]
[Divider id, secondary: A pale pink divider reading "##archive" with a small folder emoji before the text. End id.]
[Image description: A pixel art gif by me with a black background. The art depicts Ralsei from Deltarune holding a cigarette. His eyes are staring at the camera, and are in shadow by his hat. His fur is white, his hat, cloak, and dress are green, and his scarf horns and nose are pink. The text reads: "Ralsei says" in light green, and in dark green continues to read: "lets get it on cunts". He is not wearing his glasses. The animation of the gif consists of the smoke waving slightly and the text moving slightly up and down. End description.]
[Image description: An mspaint drawing of Cody Jones from Paranatural overlaid over a block of text. The image is in black and white, besides his intense teal eyes. He is smiling insincerly, and has a simple speech bubble that says "okay ^_^". The text behind him reads: "the fuck did you just say you absolute cunt what the FUCK is- perhaps som- hard to be nice- do realize i am going to snap?- that i am going to lose it?? you- ing pray i won't break your legs and te- before i hunt you dowin like a dog count your FUCKIN-", with part of it being cut off by his smiling face blocking the text. End description.]
[Image description: A comic on a white background made with a purplish pen. The first drawing is Cody Jones, a young boy with spiky black hair, and his father, an older man with a square face, hook hand, and suit. Above the two, text reads: "Cody, how do you feel about activity club? :)". Cody responds with a fake smile, saying "I like everybody!" His father responds, "Spoken like a future CEO slash politician!" In the second drawing, Cody has lost his smile and the background is now a darker color. In a more neutral/annoyed tone, he says: "Ed breathes too loud and Isabel is bad at group projects because, she does all the work but isn't good at it". End description.]
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fisherrprince · 3 years ago
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do you have more thoughts on keyblade fighting that you need to put somewhere, because i have two hands ready to catch Should The Need Arise
anon: hey I heard you mention you’d analysed the combat styles in KH and what you said in the tags was already alluding to really neat stuff, but I for one would love to hear more of what you came up with!! so if you ever wanted to share any of your analysis then the floor is yours
aHAH, MY EXCUSE!!
Okay, so first some words on “standardized wielding styles”. These are styles shared by Terra, Aqua, Vanitas, Riku, and Xehanort and every other scala and daybreak kid. I will make the argument that the red style is the fanciest standard style, while the purple is seen often to make it easier on the little chibi sprites. BUT, I cannot discredit Eraqus, who uses the purple variant in bbs, nor can I discredit half of the Foretellers (Gula and Ava, at least, use this. Invi and Aced use the first type). So, two standard styles. For simplicity, let’s say one for primary offense, one for primary defense. The standard offensive style really wasn’t popular before Scala-era society.
check this difference out, specifically between ava invi and gula:
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then between eraqus, hermod, and xehanort, and eraqus and terra.
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These two were likely popularized and standardized for education in Scala ad Caelum for their predominant lack of obvious weak spots.
After this, we have unique styles. Those include Sora Kairi and Xion’s (similar to standard defense, but more mobile at the expense of form — Kairi takes after Sora but less confident, she hasn’t been hit that heavily yet), Ven’s (backhand, heavy range and mobility), Roxas’ (modified for two keyblades, but takes after Sora), and Axel’s (taught himself, comfortable with chakrams).
So! Let’s go.
.
Standard (offensive)
All styles have sub-variations, of a sense. Different wielders can choose where their keyblade points, and how they hold it exactly, based on what makes them most comfortable. Terra and Aqua point theirs downward, while Vanitas and Riku hold theirs above their head. What is recognizeable to this style is a hand for the sword, and a hand for guarding/blocking/items/magic.
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It’s incredibly efficient. With only one hand on the weapon, you not only free up a hand for other things, but increase your range of movement with said weapon. Test it out yourself! The keyblade hand is always your dominant hand, held behind you for increased power when attacking (since you lose a significant amount of it by choosing not to grip with both hands). This style also decreases the speed of the defense you have, but with that increased mobility and swing power, along with a hand free to brace against the keyblade (defense strength up!), it makes up for it. Many people who use this also have strong barrier spells — both a testament to their preference for coverage and an acknowledgement that any directional block will take a little longer and be weaker if they try it with one hand.
The pointy end, though. What difference does it actually make, the height it’s at?
I think it’s half a matter of attack style preference and half intention. Riku, Vanitas, and Xehanort stab quite a bit. Aqua and Terra slice more. Not that they don’t do both, but it’s the first instinct. Aqua and Terra are also likely taught to hold their keyblade neutrally, in a safe position, until someone starts attacking. It’s polite! Eraqus also holds his one-handed, neutrally, until he gets into position. Riku and Vanitas learned to fight assuming everyone was out to fight them. Invi and Aced may like this style because of range (i hc she’s blind and strikes very very quickly, and he’s already very powerful with just the one arm and wants better motion).
and on character specifics: Terra often switches to two-handed, to copy his dad and add extra power to his hits without always sacrificing the empty hand. Vanitas likely was forced to relearn how to fight, as instead of solely being trained to be better at withstanding, he was constantly being made to better his own attacks. The moves Xehanort uses would best be replicated in the same style. Vanitas is wild for holding the massive spiky x-blade like that.
Now, what‘s good on this style does not correlate to what’s bad in the other. The two standard styles simply have different ways of dealing with each con they create or taking advantage of each pro.
(Here’s an interesting side note — Gula uses standard defensive, but in this instance, swaps. One hand… likely to display confidence! Wrong move, but hey. He got cocky. He’s also doing it wrong, and swaps back to two-handed to take Aced’s attack.)
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.
Standard (defensive)
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The main detriment of this style is the lack of ease of long range movement. Hold a wrapping paper tube out in front of you with both hands, then run. It goes to the side, or tucks in to your stomach, right? Dodge. Your legs will get in the way unless you know where to move that sword. It requires, interestingly, a little more discipline. You’d think Aqua would like that, but no, she wants movement and practicality, and she loves magic, and remember that you must take a hand off this style to grab a potion. You’d think young Eraqus wouldn’t, but remember that he’s a fancy royal lad.
The main draw, though, is tankiness, readiness, and power. You don’t need to move as much if nothing dares hit you! Ava and Gula might be attracted to this style because they’re not as physically strong, but want protection in close-quarters fighting. Using this style when your muscles aren’t as big but you still want to Hit Things Good, or when you want to be a boy you can’t knock over with a pail of water (horse stance rules), is probably solid advice.
Traditionally, this is a lot less like fencing, and a lot more like a samurai sword or kendo. Your blade is held in front of you, giving you very easy access to blocks and frontal attack/defense. In losing some twirly spinniness, you gain power and minimize your opponent’s ability to parry and block.
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you gotta dodge master Eraqus so mcuh
All styles will swap between one and two hands for different moves. Eraqus, notably, swaps to a stance very similar to Xehanort when channeling a metric ton of magic.
Both of these styles require a degree of upper body/core strength, as does all swordfighting. I would be interested to see someone whose keyblade style relies on leg strength.
.
Sora, Xion, and Kairi
please look at the difference between the foretellers’ or eraqus’ two-handed grip and Sora’s. Do this with your shoulders and a top-heavy object.
They’re both in a hard stance, but hon. What are you, a gremlin? Anyways, a traditionally taught master would have… better form, even if it’s harder to learn at first. It’s habitual. Sora nearly crouches, and holds his keyblade back-pointed with two hands, which makes it easier for him to dodge roll, push off his feet quickly, and pull off those spinning combos he loves. It‘s really gonna hurt his muscles, in the future, though, since he’s doing a squat for like…. hours. Pulling on those shoulderblades and neck. Xion, too. Replicas had better have correct muscle dynamics. Kairi is brand new, so… maybe Aqua can teach her how to hold a sword so it doesnt hurt you.
Okay, now look at the grip itself. Held in front versus held to the side-back. They’re really attempting to combine both standard styles subconsciously, giving themselves more attack power while really wanting to keep that hard defensive parry, wanting to prevent all attacks to the front while also wanting mobility. It’s working for them really well, they fight like an anime character, and manage to get the best of both, with a minor sacrifice of length range that they don’t care about. We’re flexible and full of magic, baby! Holding the blade like this makes it pretty easy to let go with one hand without sacrificing that crouched defense position.
Now, Sora, specifically, is very adaptive. He’s had two keyblades, claws, guns, yo-yos, and a giant shield, to name a couple. He retains a bit of that alert crouch no matter where he goes, but Sora knows how he wants to attack and how to balance that with the most effective way to use his current weapon. He’s a smart kid! Sora has the most ridiculous shotlocks, which are also probably due to not always wanting to go standard for it. He also prefers to keep his focus on the enemy, which is evident in his reprisals and lack of very many effective “escape” moves.
Xion is very similar to Sora, but she does have some moves that are all movement. She switches to one handed for strikes a lot — using two for defending, one for smacking. In her data battle I’d swear some of those heavy hits are claymore-like. But anyways, since we’re magic, Xion cares not for the laws of exhaustion, and will ping about as a ball of light everywhere. Short range? Up in your business. Mid-range? In your business with one hand. Long range? Throws a boomerang. Hit her? No you dont. Ball of light. She’s above you and wants to bash your head in. (Vanitas also does this! A lot. It’s an easy way to catch someone off-guard. I’ll argue that the soras are very tough and strong, but not tanky. they want to avoid being hit a lot)
Another interesting note about Kairi. I say “unconfident” not because she doesn’t hit hard, but because her stance is also often tilted back, ready to dodge. It’s two handed, but almost all her moves are one. She does love spinning and throwing the thing! It looks like she’s been taking notes from the wielders she knows. It would be easy to teach her a standard style, I think. See here, she lets go on the strike, and by trying to do both, actually ends up with an advantage (being confusing) and disadvantage (losing both the power of two handed and versatility of one handed).
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A counter to Sora and Xion is difficult to pin down. Time? Probably. Lack of heating pads. Something that takes all their attention is about the only way to get a sneak attack in, and then you have to hit hard. A counter to Kairi would be anyone who can knock her off balance. She needs a sturdier stance. .
Roxas
Roxas is interesting. He takes after Sora for the one blade. Wielding two, however, nets him a totally different way of fighting. Roxas’ clavicle muscles n… deltoids and stuff must be Ironclad. Also, two handed means you are very fast and sharp all the time. He has the advantage of standard defense (horse stance), and the advantage of offense (range of one sword, but twice).
Roxas generally attacks in two ways — simultaneous hits, and follow-up hits. Either he hits with both at once, or hits hard with the first one, and adds the second one as a bonus smack. He can attack by hitting in opposite directions with the two, like a drum, but that will be a little awkward and leave him prone to being tangled. That established, the follow-up hit method means he spins a bunch. As do we all.
Roxas gets a little complicated because we are not in the real world. We have magic and turning into light and physics that let you become a circular saw. So, typically, disadvantages would include: being unable to let go of a weapon to grab something or use an item, having just a very big silhouette to attack on, having difficulty with close-range attacks because Oathkeeper and Oblivion are kinda long, and convenience. Roxas gets to dodge #1 (keyblades can be unsummoned) and #4 (keyblades can be unsummoned). Speaking of dodging, he also gets to skirt the difficulty of dodging and rolling with two swords because he turns into a beam of light. But he can’t dodge how difficult it is to use two swords effectively — he needs to concentrate on fighting, and nothing else, or he risks messing up. He has to be very, very coordinated, and undistracted. Luckily he’s pretty good at making his opponents shut up, most of the time. Blocking is another thing — theoretically his blocks could be strong, but Roxas has no real brace: crossing your blades and taking a hefty stab might smack one of them back into your face. He mostly uses reversals and dodges, because of this.
The takeaway to this is Roxas is built for speed and power, and he is very strong. He’s a mid- to far- range fighter who if you’re not careful can snap you in half if you’re too close (be SO careful of that cross blade scissor).
A perfect counter to Roxas would be a tank that can grapple, and also be very distracting. If you can take hits, be talkative, and get close enough to stop his blades, you have a chance.
.
Ventus
This is a bizarre choice, my guy, but I get it.
Backhanded weapons are very impractical for a lot of... attacking, mainly in mid-range combat, and Ven likes to either fight very close or throw the keyblade like a boomerang (and hey, backhand gives it a good whip for throwing). His attacks aren’t meant to one hit KO, but they do come with a bit of power to them, especially on the backslash. Like holding a knife for gouging. It’s for very close defense — pretty good when Wayward Wind and Missing Ache have hooks.
Backhand also, while retaining that empty hand for potions and guarding, gives you an extreme coverage boost. By which I mean Ven’s sword hand now has a nearly 270 degree sweep of “I see you, don’t touch me”, very quickly, based on just flicking his wrist. It sacrifices a ton of strength/sturdiness, but you don’t need that if you’re dodging. You also don’t really need to block, which is slower, but relatively sturdy when Ven does it, as he blocks with mostly the chunky hilt between crossed arms. He sacrifices (again) a bit of strength for coverage — an attack would hurt his arms, not his chest, if he were hit head-on.
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His attacks often have him flip the blade around in his hand, too. Quick swaps between standard moves and backhand ones. Basically, Ventus is built for moving, protecting himself, and quick attacks that wear down the enemy, not outclass it. Likely because he’s good at fighting, but everyone he’s fought hits harder than he can! It doesn’t matter how he holds it, getting hit will hurt. So he just. Doesn’t. He’s not a buff little guy — but he is a persistent one. Ven very likely made this up on his own, in Daybreak, and it was too hard to fix his whole style, but it was enough to correct most of his form so he doesn’t hurt himself too much. He is going to have to really stretch that shoulder and wrist (maybe get a brace), though. At least his neck is ok. … not sure about his knees tho dang boy that crouch
A perfect counter to Ven would be someone big and fast, who hits hard mid-range. He’s already been sparring with Terra, though, so when in doubt, try scruffing him?
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Axel
Theres not a ton to say about him — he‘s not a swordfighter. He uses his keyblade like it’s a frisbee. Because that’s what he’s used to! His neutral is behind his back on his shoulder, which is terrible for readiness, but okay for chucking the thing. It’s good it has a sort of… ripstik like… boomerang quality.
Axel’s fighting style is completely made up, like most of the self-taught wielders’. His strengths lie in some of the benefits of standard offensive style (one-handed), and some of the same coverage stuff as Ven, having a cocked wrist most of the time so no one can sneak up around him without risking getting whacked very quickly, and having an interesting range due to the pointy end being basically on a spinny swivel wherever his hand moves. He’s not going to be good at close-range and he knows it — his attacks are mostly distance. And the guy has ZERO defense, combined with zero coverage when idle, so it’s for the better.
Distance-wise, though, he rocks. Treating the blade like it’s a flaming throwing weapon means his idle is actually great for sudden flick-tossing and attention-guiding for sneakier attacks, and his stance itself (…nonexistent) serves a different purpose: bait. Basically a big "come hit me". Fun, when you have a lot of fire magic and two friends who are beasts and love to take advantage of a distracted enemy — distance on the blade, proximity on the burning.
A perfect counter to Axel would be someone pinging around very close <—> very far and circling him incessantly. Like, data Xion could wreck him, as he has to wait for the boomerang to come back -- he no longer has two spinny wheels. Also someone with water magic.
.
SO! In conclusion! Having a teacher who teaches you correct sword usage rather than instinct may detract from overspecific styles that benefit you most but leave weak spots, but your muscles and your oversights will thank you. Everyone is glad we have the power of the Mouse and anime on our side.
Keep in mind again that I have done cursory research, and have had minimal actual sword instruction, I am not an expert and this is all for fun anyways :]
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jeonqquk · 4 years ago
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racket | jjk
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↳pairing: jungkook x reader ↳genre/tags: badmintonplayer!jungkook and badmintonplayer!reader, barely any badminton related stuff, rushed asf, accidental confession-?, they dont even kiss wtf ↳rating: everyone <3 ↳wc: 6k
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Jeon Jungkook was capable of being the eighth wonder of the world. He may not have come into existence in the 1700s but his ability to do almost everything perfectly was bewildering. Whether it be eating an entire cake in the span of a half-hour or defeating even the coaches at badminton. 
Everybody loved Jungkook, his sweet and caring nature paired with those godly features attracted everyone to him- in many ways. Unfortunately, you weren’t part of the everybody lot. 
You hated Jungkook. Absolutely despised his abhorrent ass. So much so that if he were the last person alive, you’d even kill yourself just to stay away from him. But that was highly unlikely, so you weren’t going to kill yourself. 
The hatred had just always been there, his competitive side seeming fucking atrocious to you. The feeling was mutual, though, so you didn’t feel as guilty as you would’ve if you just detested him while he behaved politely with you.
Jungkook was petty, even you knew that by now. His competitiveness always getting the better of him and turning him into someone with a completely different persona. Losing was not something he was used to. Maybe that’s why he had only a handful of friends, he would do anything to win. It could be a silly bet or even a tournament- Jungkook just had to win.
All the people he was friends with though, their relationship was beautiful. There were only 4 or 5 boys he actually got along with and their adoration for each other could be seen by anybody. 
This wouldn’t have been a problem if you weren’t also as competitive as him. You’re technically in no position to say that Jungkook’s hatred towards losing was unhealthy because you hated it too. You thought it made you seem weak, incapable- and you supposed that it was the same reason as to why the youngest Jeon son hated losing as well but you never tried understanding him. Let alone let him speak for a minute if he was in a 10-foot-radius of you. 
It was better this way, you thought. It was better to hate him than actually trying to befriend him and catching those unwanted feelings. Hating Jungkook was simpler, easier. Or so you thought for the 10 years of the two of you attending the same badminton academy. And as if that wasn’t bad enough, the two of you were in the same class at college as well. So you had to deal with his annoying self for the larger part of the day. 
It was around a month before the annual badminton tournament of your state and obviously, you and Jungkook were taking part in it, more intent on defeating each other rather than the opposing teams. This wouldn’t work though, your coach had called the two of you after practice one day and had said “Listen, Jungkook, Y/n. I know that you’re both really good players and also hate each other.” he sighs, “I’m not asking you to befriend each other, no. I just want the two of you to get along for the tournament. For the sake of our school.” The coach makes a pleading face and you just nod, looking over at Jungkook to see his reaction. He hums and looks down. 
After the coach has walked away, you look at Jungkook again, getting ready to tell him that this wasn’t really going to affect the way you behaved with him but he beats you to it, his voice reaching your ears as your lips stay parted midway.
“So, I guess...no more arguing?” Jungkook finally looks at you with a slightly questioning face and you’re left momentarily blank, his proposition seeming so out of character that you’re at a loss for words. This wasn’t expected out of Jungkook. What was expected was that he would just scoff before glaring at you for no reason and stalking away. Him asking you if you wanted to stop the childish arguments the two of you had was not expected. 
It takes you a minute to comprehend that Jeon Jungkook was actually trying to put an end to those mini-wars of yours. Your reply is dumb “Uh- okay.” You’re still in a daze from what he said and it’s only when he snaps his fingers in front of your face that you immediately want to spit out a sassy remark but bite your tongue on it, not wanting to disregard Jungkook’s suggestion just after seconds of it having come out of those pink lips of his.
Not knowing what to do, you nod and turn around to get into the locker rooms before heading home. You’re oblivious to the fact that Jungkook almost called your name, wanting to talk to you more, he didn’t know why, but decided against it. You wouldn’t accept the offer anyway.
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The walk back to your house is quiet, you’re humming a random tune and there aren’t many vehicles on the road, except for school buses dropping kids home. Unlocking the door, you step into your house and close it behind you before keeping your bag in your room and changing out of your clothes. After all that is done, you check the time and see that it’s 3:18 pm, you have around 2 hours before badminton coaching and suddenly feeling motivated, you heat up some leftover pizza and walk into your room to paint something. 
You may not be good at art, you admitted that without any shame because there were a lot of other things you could perform flawlessly. Playing badminton, whining and being able to smell any fried food from miles away to name a few. But you didn’t want to do art because you’d get good at it or something, it was something you genuinely enjoyed and the comments from other people didn’t matter as long as you were satisfied with yourself. And that meant your circles not looking  like amoeba.
You take out a drawing book that had been laying in the third drawer of your desk for months and dig up some paintbrushes and watercolour tubes you had left before sitting at your desk to finally start your work. You let your fingers guide you, not thinking much about what you were doing and what the outcome would be. Occasionally dusting your hands from the pizza crumbs, you were quite focused on your work.
30 minutes later, you’re leaning back in your chair and surveying your painting. Woah, it looks pretty-
Wait is that fucking Jungkook you see? “Huh?” your forehead is creased in perplexity, did you just paint a goddamn Jungkook? It looks like Jungkook, though...the bambi eyes and that tiny pout on his lips. How did you-
You were so confused right now. What were you thinking? Well, you obviously weren’t thinking.
Wow. Apparently, you had drawn Jungkook, your sworn enemy, without knowing. Not knowing what to do with the average portrait that didn’t do any justice to his actual features, you quickly clean up your stuff and keep it all back in its respective drawers. 
It’s now 4 and you get out your books to get some homework done before leaving for coaching. Ugh. You’d have to see Jungkook there too. You wonder how he’ll behave with you, hopefully, he won’t come anywhere near you. 
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Sighing as you finish the assignments before stretching back in your chair, you get up to change into your sports clothes before grabbing your bag and water bottle, looking at yourself once in the mirror before walking out towards the pleasantly close by badminton academy you had grown way too accustomed to. 
Upon reaching the building, you walk through the reception and smile at the elderly lady who sits there every day. You push the door that leads to the courts and walk on the side, greeting your friends that were warming up. You don’t see Jungkook anywhere right now so that’s a good sign and you bow slightly at your coach in respect although the many years of being taught by the man have obviously gotten the two of you very close. Your bag is kept near a bench in its usual place and you put on the shoes you could wear only on the badminton courts before picking a corner on the side of the court and begin stretching. 
You’re walking to get your racquet when you see Jungkook jogging up to your coach, saying something to him with an apologetic look before getting a  playful shove from sir as he nods towards the benches where Jungkook would most probably keep his stuff and do some quick exercises before joining the rest of you. 
Said boy’s gaze meets yours and he smiles. You don’t reciprocate the gesture, scoffing and moving over to Jihye who’s already looking at you with a cheeky smile adorning her face. “What?” you question, not understanding why she was acting so weird “Don’t pretend you don’t know.” she gives you a playful shove to which you reply by tch-ing and rolling your eyes, done with her childish behaviour. “Seriously Jihye what th-”
“I saw Jungkook smile at you.” 
The look on your face is an accurate representation of what you were thinking right now. So what? That smile was nothing, he was just acting upon what he had said earlier. “Yeah, so?” you reply boredly, watching as Jihye’s mouth open wide- wide enough for her to fit her entire fist inside.
“Yeah, so? Are you shitting me Y/n? Jeon Jungkook just smiled at you and you didn’t even do anything in response?” you’re still watching her blankly. Although you admit that it’s not her fault entirely, even you were shocked, very shocked when he first told you about the no-more-fighting pact. 
“He just said that we shouldn’t argue now, because the coach at school said that it was going to be bad for our team. You know, in the tournament.” you simply shrug, trying not to make a big deal out of the fact and Jihye is about to reply before the coach is calling all of you for a shadow drill. 
Shit.
You are given one side of a court and by some way or the other, Jungkook is opposite to you, his black pants sticking to those fleshy thighs so deliciously and hi-
What?
What is wrong with you? You’ve been thinking about Jungkook unconsciously- first drawing him and now this. Get a grip Y/n.
The whistle of your coach sounds throughout the entire room and your chain of thoughts is broken as your run towards the left side of the net from your position in the centre of the court before picking up one of the shuttles and running back to the centre, moving to the right side of the net now and doing the same as you continue the drill. Jungkook is swift, his feet are balanced and he still manages to look so graceful as he runs around his side of the court. 
You’re finally done with all the corners of the court twice as you move to sit in the space between the two different courts as you pant. The two people who were waiting now go to your and Jungkook’s positions as they begin the shadows drill now. You’re surprised to see that Jungkook has opted to sit next to you, you with your bright pink skirt sticking to your skin in all its glory.  
“Hi.” he smiles and turns towards you with his hand outstretched in front of your form. With a questioning look on your face, you shake his hand. How far was he planning on going when he said that the two of you wouldn’t be having those silly arguments anymore? To you, it meant that the pair of you would just stick to your own places and not interact with each other or do anything that would result in the bickering to resume. 
“Hey..?” Jungkook retracts his hand, leaving yours in mid-air. “So you uh wanna like hang out..um..like somewhere?” This boy had been taking you by surprise too much lately, why would he randomly ask you to hang out?
Sure he had said that he didn’t want the two of you having those little fights anymore but this? This was unexpected- really fucking unexpected.
“Uh...so suddenly?” he slightly frowns “Why?  Are you uncomfortable with it? That’s totally fine though!”
Jungkook was being too friendly, a little too friendly, you were confused and shocked at his tactics but tried not to show it on your face. “I mean, yeah, okay.” The words came tumbling out of your mouth before you could even realise it and his face was now bright. His smile so sweet, you feel a cavity forming and he nods. “Cool! After practice then..? He trails off, suddenly hesitant and you’re still dumbfounded by how quickly things had taken a turn, for the better you supposed. 
Not even a day ago, the two of you were ready to claw the other’s eyes out and now, you were agreeing to go out with him. This is not a date though. Jungkook and you are just going out to bond as friends. Nothing more, nothing less. Nodding, you smile lightly, trying to reduce some of the awkwardness from your face as you suggest a cafe to meet up at. 
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Practice is over and you are walking out of the academy with Jihye chattering beside you. “Oh! I almost forgot, so about that  Jungkook thing. I saw the two of you talking also.” she wiggles her eyebrows suggestively, or that’s what she thinks it looks like. Turning to face her, you sigh at her usual habit of sticking her nose into others’ business and tell her simply that he had just asked you to meet up at the cafe so you could just chill. 
“Holy shit, it’s a date!” Jihye seems more excited about the meet-up, not date, her hands coming up to join in front of her chest as she looks at you in bewilderment. “Why are you so passive?” your friend is way too excited for something so normal but then again, this was you and Jungkook. The two of you could never go a day without insulting the other before. Now you were meeting up with the same guy at a cafe in another hour or so. When you tell Jihye this, she stops walking, putting her hand on the left side of her chest- where her heart was. Her dramatic behaviour was now normal now and you knew the reason for her overreaction. 
Your love life was drier than the Sahara Desert in a fucking draught. You had been on just a handful of dates in your entire existence, only 5 or 6 of them ending up with you fucking the guy. The others had just been awkward, mainly because of your edgy self. 
It wasn’t that big of a problem though, you were too occupied by your college work and badminton tournament preparations that anything else just seemed like a waste of time. For instance, instead of going out with some guy, you could stay home and binge-watch Stranger Things. There were a lot more practical things that could be done without the company of males. 
The only reason you agreed to go out with Jungkook was that you wanted to see how it would end up. There was a very slim chance that your meeting would go very well but if Jungkook kept behaving as sweet as he was now, you wouldn’t even have a solid reason to be rude to the poor fellow. Nevertheless, you were not going to completely relax because one never knows. 
“I’m coming over to pick out your outfit!” Jihye is excited, jumpy because this is new- you going out with someone of the opposite gender. And although it was completely normal for someone else, you just looked at your friend judgmentally, feigning annoyance and earning a light shove from her that has you stumbling on the sidewalk. 
“‘Kay'” she squeals when you agree and invites herself to your house, saying that you should take a shower while she picks out your outfit. You trusted her though, Jihye’s fashion sense was really good and you knew for a fact that whatever she would pick out would be trendy. 
Unlocking your house with the bronze key, you walk in and keep your bag in its place before walking to get a glass of water for Jihye and yourself. She accepts and plops down on your couch before you pull her up by the arm, a disgusted look on your face. “Go wash up first.” she pouts but heads into the bathroom near the hallway nonetheless to wash up. You shout to her from your room that you’re heading to shower and she shouts back an “Alright.” from downstairs as you open the door, heading in for a steamy shower. 
40 minutes later, you’re getting out of your bathroom, content, to Jihye’s shrieking. Something along the lines of missing the date and you roll your eyes when you hear the last word. It was not a date for God’s sake!
You nonchalantly nod at no one in particular and apply your cream before heading out in a bathrobe. She’s sitting on your bed with some outfits placed on your bed. At first glance, they all look colour-coordinated with some accessories here and there but upon closer inspection, you see that every piece of clothing on your mattress was one of the shortest you had in every category. 
“Do you want me to look like a slut?” you ask with your arms folding in front of your chest, and Jihye looks at you with wide eyes, offended that you even had the nerve to comment on her outfit-picking skills. 
“No! These are all fine for a meet-up.” She uses finger quotes for the last word and you smile to yourself, “Uh, let me just stop you there. I don’t really know what people mean when they use this.” you make the finger quotes and she gasps “Did you just-” your shoulders raise and as the laughter dies down, you walk closer to the bed, mentally evaluating each outfit she had oh so carefully picked. They’re all really stylish, you gotta admit that but you’d never say it to her face. The one closest to the headboard consists of a full-sleeved plain white turtleneck that had a greyish-brown dress that reached your mid-thigh laid on top of it. It was something you could wear, maybe with some electric pink leggings. You see that Jihye, who is now rummaging in your collection of shoes, has also laid some black boots in front of the bed that matched the first dress. 
Your gaze travels to the one on the middle one and you immediately furrow your eyebrows, already ruling the strapless crop top and ripped shorts out. Too much skin. 
The one to the far left is also decided to not be inappropriate for the occasion as you didn’t think Jungkook would want to see you in a burgundy top with spaghetti straps. The jeans that had too many huge holes in them didn’t even look cool at this point. What were you thinking when you bought this.
Jihye comes out with some heels for one of the outfits “Why are you even putting so much effort into this? I can just wear a shirt and sweats.” She huffs out, unamused, as you giggle at her annoyed face. “Kidding. So, I really like this one.” you point at the dress and she smiles slyly “Showing off your long legs I see.” Punching her shoulder, you make some place to sit on the bed, glad that you shaved today. “Now, get out of my room. I need to change and apply make-up.” She nods and you watch her close the door behind her, getting up to lock it for extra safety measures. 
Not like she was gonna barge in and catch you in your star printed underwear anyways. Changing into the turtle neck and then the dress, you look at yourself in the mirror and if it wasn’t your frizzy hair, you would even think you looked cute. You brush your hair and settle for a high ponytail. Putting on your shoes, you apply a little bit of make-up, not wanting to seem overly eager but the excessive amount of perfume may or may not give you away. 
As you open the door and walk down to where Jihye has changed into some sweats she had kept in your house for times like these, she gasps upon seeing you, chip almost falling out her mouth and chews it before widening her eyes comically “Babe! You look so good.” you smile at her compliment, giving her a twirl as she gets up to probably to hug you before deciding against it, shaking her head. 
“So, is my make-up looking fine?” she nods furiously and you pick up your purse that was on the dining chair before looking at the clock to see that you only have ten minutes before Jungkook arrives. You bid Jihye goodbye, not worried in the slightest bit about her being alone at your house. 
As you’re walking, the cafe comes into view and you spot a familiar figure walking into the shop as well and you increase your speed to enter at the same time as Jungkook to make it seem as if you weren’t even slightly late. He doesn’t notice you even when you’re right behind him and walks to a table to sit down as you sit opposite him immediately, realising that he had walked to a two-people table in the corner of the shop. 
His eyes widen and he stutters out in shock, “O-Oh, you’re here,” Nodding, you hide a smile and greet him back, trying not to get into an argument with him. It’s silent for a while, you think of anything to say to break the awkward atmosphere but just as you’re looking up from the ground to speak to Jungkook, his voice is filling your ears. “Do you want to order?” He waits and you simply nod, “Okay, I’ll come to get my coffee.” 
Just as you’re getting up, Jungkook keeps his hand on you without warning, head shaking frantically. “No! I mean, I can get it for you.” Looking up in surprise, you’re unable to speak for a moment. Did Jeon Jungkook just say that he would buy you coffee?
You shake your head and snap out of your trance. Or at least you try to. “No, it’s alright. I can get it myself.” Jungkook rushes to quieten you again and looks like he won’t let you win, so you sigh and back down. “Fine.” He giggles and walks off to the counter while you take your phone out to kill time. Getting bored when you see that there are not any notifications, you switch the device off and look out of the window, watching as people get out of their cars for a pitstop at the cafe before driving away again. 
“Here are the coffees.” You turn your head and see Jungkook setting two cups of coffee on the table before sitting himself. Looking at what he got you, you thank him for bringing the correct order and he just sends a light smile in your direction, rubs his hands together and picks up the cup with both hands. You almost coo, but hold yourself together. This was your enemy. 
That reminds you, “So, why are you suddenly being so kind to me? It’s really weird to experience you treating me nicely.” You hadn’t meant for your tone to come off as accusing, but it does, and you have to watch Jungkook’s eyes flash with hurt for a second before shaking his head lightly. He places his cup back in the small saucer and his hands on either side of it. 
“I knew you would ask me this.” egging him on with a raise of your eyebrows, you take a sip of your coffee “Remember how Coach said that we should stop arguing?” At your nod, he licks his lips and continues on with his explanation, “Well, I thought about it-” “You told me to stop arguing right after he left.” “I thought about it and I decided that we really shouldn’t be having these fights. Like, what’s the point? I’m not getting anything out of it. You’re not getting anything out of it.” He ignores your words and when you hear his, ask yourself why you hadn’t tried to put a stop to the childish arguments you had with Jungkook. 
You don’t know why you ever fought back. Well, you did hate losing and Jungkook did everything to rile you up- so he was at fault too- but there was no specific reason as to why you hated Jungkook so much. “I don’t know, you were the one who started them. I don’t have a problem with becoming friends.” 
Jungkook looks at you, looking as if he’s trying to figure something out, pouty lips looking kissable but you quickly brush those thoughts off. “So..” his hands come closer to yours and you’re shocked to feel your heart starting to beat faster, its pace picking up as Jungkook’s hand comes closer to yours. “..friends?” his pinky intertwines with yours and you feel your face turn red, the action igniting something in you. 
Looking down at your fingers intertwined seems to be a big mistake as you gasp, the sight just overwhelming you. His hand fit in yours perfectly, and even if he meant it just as friends, you couldn’t help but imagine how it would be to be loved by Jungkook.
No! You two just started behaving normally around each other and you’re already thinking about loving him?
A voice in your head sounds as Jungkook retrieves his hand to pick up the call that had distracted you. You take your hand back and keep it in your lap, tingling sensations till lingering. 
Jungkook looks at you apologetically for a second, and you reassure him that he could take the call but he tells whoever was on the other side of the line that he was busy, cutting the call after he told the person that he would call them back later. 
“Sorry about that.” you barely catch his mumble and shake your head, “Don’t worry.” As you finish your coffee and make small talk with Jungkook about random things, you start growing more comfortable around him, cracking jokes and laughing at his lame ones. You’re discussing some things about the upcoming tournament when Jungkook suddenly leans in closer. 
You move back out of shock and he stills, eyes suddenly going wide as his breathing halts. Your own starts getting heavy, his sudden action having caught you terribly off guard. After partially having gained your composure back, you see that Jungkook is still in the same position, “J-Jungkook?” He takes a moment to snap out of whatever trance he was put in and blinks once, twice before gasping loudly and jerking backwards. His back hits the chair and his mouth is still open in shock at what he did. 
“S-Sorry..” he trails off, chewing his lip and your eyes follow the motion carefully before darting them back to his face quickly. He furrows his brows and starters ahead of you before shaking his head, murmuring something to himself. “You ok there?” you try to keep your voice soft, soothing as Jungkook shifts his gaze to you, wide eyes looking absolutely adorable. 
You question him again, worried, “What wa-” “I like you.” 
Silence. 
You sputter, his words having caught you off guard and if Jungkook’s eyes could go any wider, they do, his hand instantly coming to slap over his face and he curses, “I-fuck.” You’re still shocked by his confession and your brain takes time to process what he said, the three simple words not registering in your mind until suddenly,  Jungkook’s voice brings you back to the present. 
“Y-Y/n?” He sounds hesitant, and your face must be an accurate representation of what you’re feeling right now because Jungkook begins speaking again, his eyes filled with worry as he tries to fix his mistake. “No. I mean, yes, I like you-” Your face portrays horror at his words again and he rushes to correct himself, hitting himself on the head once. 
“You what?” Your voice is hushed for unknown reasons and Jungkook looks around, trying to calm himself down by breathing in and out and you use the time to do the same, the initial shock having worn off as you exhale loudly and take a bite out of the cookie from the small plate he had gotten. 
“I like you, Y/n.” Jungkook’s tone is more serious this time, and you try maintaining  a straight face, his words finally sinking and you choke on your saliva. “Like like me?” you question dumbly and he nods desperately, licking his lips and drumming his fingers on the table, a nervous habit of his. 
“Oh,” Jeongguk tilts his head at your response and you muster the courage to ask him a question that had been lingering on your mind ever since he confessed. “Since..?”
He coughs loudly into his mouth, trying to hide the blush that creeps up his cheeks and looks at you with a suddenly brave gaze, “I’ve liked you for a long time, Y/n. The reason I started annoying was because I wanted you to notice me, not because I disliked you...And better confess now instead of regretting not doing anything before right?” Your mouth is left hanging at his confession now, the real reason for his pestering finally coming out into the light. 
“Why would you annoy me, though? You could've just come up and talked to me, it would've been way easier for us.” At this, Jeongguk blushes, trying to cover his burning cheeks from you and cups his face in  his hands. “I don’t know..you were really annoying, to be honest.”
“I was annoying- you asshole!” You lean over and hit his arm, much to his chagrin and he frowns before swatting your arm away. Silence falls over the two of you, but it's not the awkward kind, you just sit quietly, drowning yourself in thoughts about Jungkook. 
“So…” Beside you, Jungkook shifts shyly and lowers his head when you look at him, the sight igniting something warm inside you. “Can I ask to ask you out?” His hair sits prettily atop his forehead, hands on his lap and his lips are scrunched into the cutest pout. 
“Why don’t you ask me and find out?” You aim for a teasing tone, but miss by a mille, instead sounding breathless and at this, Jungkook smiles before leaning in closer. “Will you go on a date with me?”
Even though you knew he was going to ask you, the words still send tingles throughout your entire body, heart racing and you nod before you can even think.  
It has you suddenly thinking about the drastic turn of events. The guy who was once (not even a few hours ago) your biggest enemy had just confessed to you and was asking you out. You’re thinking if it was a bad decision, but with Jungkook looking so innocent and just, like a child, it’s hard to think straight. Your heart beats erratically as Jungkook gives you one last soft smile before getting up and walking to pay, and you try chasing him and stopping him from paying for both your and his drinks but as much as you want to, you’re still stuck in place, everything that happened recently replaying in your head. He comes back in a few minutes and holds out his hand for you to take, and as you’re getting up with his help, your heart can’t help but flutter, the feeling of his warm hand encompassing yours turning you mushy like dough. 
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“Seriously?” You can’t help but scoff, and beside you Jungkook lets go of your hand to feign an offended face. “What! You said you liked Call of Duty!” Jungkook defends himself and you stare blankly at the venue of your first official date with Jeon Jungkook. 
The baby pink blankets that adore his couch look inviting, so do the various snacks on the coffee table but still, this was your first date. You had really expected him to go all out and take you to dinner at a classy restaurant. And then maybe have ended with a drumline playing on a bridge. Ok, maybe that was too much. 
This doesn’t mean that you’re disappointed, though. Nope. This- a date on Jungkook’s couch with Call of Duty and snacks- was perfectly fine. Great, even. You finally crack a smile, nudging his shoulder and muttering a ‘Just kidding.’ under your breath when his face turns sad. 
You grab his arm and sit on the couch, patting the space beside you for him to occupy as you shuffle through the unhealthy packs of chips and nachos to find your favorite one. Jungkook grabs a drink and you shuffle under the soft blanket, curling up and look at Jungkook, trying to act cute as you prepare to embarrass yourself. 
“Cuddle with me?” Jungkook almost spits his drink out, surging forward as his head turns towards your direction you’re positive he gets whiplash. “W-What-Did you..” Nodding, you try pouting but know for a fact that it looks more awkward than cute and huff out, “Just-” Jungkook nods suddenly, “Ok.” and gets under the covers. Your face heats up when you finally realise that you just asked The Jeon Jungkook™ to cuddle with you, and as he ever so slowly crawls towards you, your body turns stiff. 
“I-Is this okay?” Jungkook hovers his hand over your waist and as you look at him with wide eyes, you nod lightly, indicating the green signal, his body heat not helping at all. Jungkook’s soft voice filters through your ears, and you swear you could listen to him forever. Even if he was making fun of your obsession with hard peaches. Yes. 
“We can watch a movie if you want..and then play COD?” he suggests and you mumble out a “Sure” and watch as he picks up the remote to scroll through the various apps whose subscriptions he had. 
He pauses at Netflix. “Can we watch Full House?” his voice is timid, and you turn to furrow your eyebrows at him, wondering why he would seem hesitant while asking that. Everyone loved Michelle. 
“Why not?” At your words, Jungkook’s eyes light up and he smiles widely, turning towards the TV to play the show. 
You rip open a packet of Cheetos and Jungkook tries (keyword: tries) to slyly wrap his arm around you from behind but doesn’t go unnoticed, and you move forward for him to easily slide his arm around you, not even bothering to look at his red face because there’s a really high chance that you’ll combust. 
2 episodes into the new season, you turn to Jungkook and he notices, eyebrows raised as you gulp, 
“I think I like you too.” 
“That would’ve been really romantic if your Cheetos breath wasn’t hitting my face.”
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epilogue 
“Yesss, get it Kook!” Jungkook comes running up to you and you slap his arm in enthusiasm. He hugs you, tight, and your arms wrap around his body as well, congratulating him in his victory. His last hit had been a smash, one his opponent hadn’t  been able to defend and the match had indeed with your school winning, the trophy yours for the third time in a row.  
“We won.” The words coming out of Jungkook’s mouth urge you to hug him tighter, and you do, nodding although he probably can't see you. “We did.” Your boyfriend lets go of you to embrace his teammates and you laugh with all of them, and when your eyes meet Jungkook’s, realise that he may not be as bad as you first thought him to be.
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tysm for reading whatever the fuck this is <3 send in feedback, if you want!
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xmalereader · 4 years ago
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Thomas Shelby X Male Reader
|| Masterlist ||
Requested: Heya, can i request a thomas shelby one where the reader is new to the gang and Thomas starts getting feelings for him but tries to suppress it until they have to go on a dangerous mission and the reader gets hurt? Love your writings and hope you have a great day❤
Warnings: Language, blood, slight angst, some fluff, reader being sweet, Thomas being protective.
Tags: @ravnulfjohansen
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“Protection?! We don’t need any bloody protection!” Ada shouts at Thomas, slamming her hand on the table as she glared at her older brother.
The Shelby’s were having a family meeting, lately things have been getting dangerous. Thomas has been making deals with other gangs and he may or may not have betrayed a few, so now he needs to focus on his family’s safety.
“Ada this is for your safety,” he glanced at Polly and then back at ada. “Polly will also have protection.”
Polly chokes out a laugh. “I’m sorry? I can protect myself Thomas, I don’t need protection.” She clarified, taking Sip from her drink as she frowns deeply.
Thomas sighs deeply as he rubs his temples. “He’ll only be following you and keeping a close eye, I trust this man and I know that he’ll complete this job.”
“Who is this man?” Said Polly with a raised brow.
Thomas gives her a look before sitting back in his chair, he knows that he shouldn’t have said anything. Not only is he trying to protect Polly and Ada but he’s also putting someone that he cares deeply for in danger.
“An old friend.” He simply says as he stands up from his chair and collects his cigars. “Tomorrow morning you’ll be meeting him here, he’ll be around to guard you two and he’ll report to me in case anything is to happen.” He explains to his sister and aunt who only huff in annoyance.
“Until tomorrow.” He repeats hismelf and leaves the room. He adjusted his cap and steps outside where he takes in a large inhale of fresh air.
“I wouldn’t really breath in this disgusting air, it could kill you.”
Thomas turns his head to face the source of the new voice, his lips slowly twitch up into a smile. “Y/n.” He says in a soft voice.
“Thomas.” The other replies as he approaches him and stands close to his side. His eyebrows raise as he examines Tommy’s face and hums. “I take it that your sister and aunt didn’t like the idea of me being around, huh?”
Tommy’s smile fades away into a frown. “No.”
Y/n lets out a deep sigh and rubs his hands together. “Don’t worry, I know they hate this idea but maybe I can get on their good side? It’s my job to protect your family, I promised you that I would.” He gives Thomas shoulder a pat, smiling widely at him.
Thomas could only stare at the younger man. He knows that y/n can protect his family but he’s mostly worried about him. The two have been friends for years and no one in his family knows about it! He was afraid of getting him involved with his family problems.
But he can’t refuse y/n when he needs his help.
“Why are you packing?” Thomas suddenly asks as he enters y/n’s flat, taking notice of the packing as y/n bites his lip nervously and moves around his room, grabbing small stuff and putting them inside his suitcase.
“Do you remember my job back at the post office?” He asks as Thomas nods, tossing his coat on the bed and taking a seat.
“Well, turns out that they didn’t need me anymore so they decided to fire me.” He explains his situation to Thomas who sat quietly on the bed. “I still had some money left to pay off for my room but I slowly started to run out, I’ve been looking for a new place and a new job for awhile now but I’ve gotten nothing!” His voice starts to raise. “I don’t have a choice but to move to the country side...I called my brother and he said that he had an extra room for me, told me that I could stay their until I find a job.”
“So, you’re leaving?” Said Thomas as y/n stops mid pack, turning to look at Thomas. He notices the sad look in his eyes, causing him to give off a small sad smile. “Tommy...” he approaches him and places a hand over Thomas’s bigger ones. “I can’t stay here, I can barley afford this place.” He whispers out.
“Stay with me, I have enough room back at my place.” Thomas suddenly says as y/n shakes his head. He didn’t want to be a bother and he defiantly didn’t want to surprise Tommy’s family with him being around. “I don’t want to be a bother.”
“You won’t be.” Thomas pulls him close, wrapping an arm around his waist as he pulls him onto his lap, causing a dark blush to appear on y/n cheeks. “Thomas, even if I stay with you—id still need to find a job.”
“I’ll give you a job.”
“W—what?” Y/n eyes widen.
“You know what I do and I trust you, I trust your loyalty and I know you’ll be perfect for it.” Thomas lies his head against his chest as y/n ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m going to be honest, I’m not really good with money.” He chuckled out tiredly as Thomas smiles against his chest. “You won’t be doing that.” He muffled out as y/n rasies a brow. “Then what will I be doing?”
Thomas lifts his head up. “You Can become my sister and aunts guard, keep them safe while I’m gone doing business.”
“Oh, Tommy I don’t—“
“I’ve seen you fight, you’ve taken down people twice your size and you know how to handle a gun.”
Y/n blushes a little and sighs deeply. “Fine, but I make my own rules.”
This causes Thomas smile to widen a bit more. “Deal.”
He remembers that night clearly, the two planning out everything in case anything bad was to happen. All y/n was suppose to do was keep a close eye on his aunt and sister and not get in the way of any of their little ‘activities’.
“Promise me you’ll be safe.” Said Thomas while y/n chuckles. “I can handle myself and a pair of girls Thomas! No need to get worried.” He gives Thomas a smile. “Things will be okay, I promise.”
But things were not okay.
The day that y/n was meant to guard the girls was the same day that a few of Tommy’s own men decided to betray him and use the girls as bait, but of course the first thing they had to do was get rid of the guard, which was y/n.
On that same day he actually got to know Polly and Ada a bit more and the two actually liked him in return. He was a stunning man and a caring one, he spoke softly to the two and offered to carry their things when they bought new stuff. He was a gentleman and the two adored it, they thought he was special since most men weren’t like that anymore.
The girls decided on having some tea outside the shop where they can enjoy their day while y/n stood next to the small table, smiling at the girls as he listens to them gossip about their family. “Thomas is always making us stay in the shop, do you know how frustrating it is having to deal with cranky men?” Said Ada To her aunt as she rolls her eyes and lights a cigar. “Men are always rude when it comes to betting.” She says in return.
Y/n chuckles to himself which catches pollys attention. She looks up at him and smiles, “of course not you y/n, your different.” She points out as y/n shakes his head. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” He quickly apolgizes but Polly waves her hand. “Dont apologize!” She says. “To be honest, I wonder why tommy chose you as our personal guard? He said that he trusts you.” She sits up in her chair, leaning forward as she rests her elbows in the tables. “Theirs something about you that tommy likes.”
Y/n feels himself grow anxious, both him and Thomas have been friends for years and the way they first met was very weird and childish, you could say but through out the years he’s grown to love tommy. But of course he couldn’t tell him that, he didn’t want to lose the friendship they had.
“Tommy’s a good friend...he helped me when I needed it the most and I’m greatful for that.” He’s quick to tell Polly. Hoping that she doesn’t figure out about his unrequited love.
Polly can only stare, letting out a puff of smoke as she grins and slowly sits back. “Whatever you say, darling.”
Y/n rasies a brow and tilts his head. What was that suppose to mean?
He opens his mouth to ask something but is cut off by a car approaching. He looks up to see Thomas and his brothers exiting the vehicle, his eyes scan the brothers and notices the hint of blood smeared in their clothes. Once his gaze turns to Thomas the two make eye contact, causing y/n to smile a little at Thomas. Glad that he’s okay.
Smiling at Thomas, he notices a strange man approaching them from behind. It causes him to squint his eyes a little, noticing the gun the man was holding as realization hits him. His eyes widen in fear as he takes a step forward.
“Thomas.” He calls out softly as the man raised his gun up and aims at tommy from behind.
Y/n has no time to process things as he sprints towards Thomas, grabbing him by the arm and shoving him to the side. Causing the other to stumble back as a gunshot is heard.
It takes Thomas a few seconds to notice y/n’s limp body in the ground. His fears becoming a reality. “Y/n...y/n?!” He shouts out in worry as he crawls to his side and slowly turns him on his side to see a gun wound on his shoulder. “Fuck!” He curses out in anger as he looks around.
His brothers were dealing with the man that shot him while Polly and Ada rush to side. “Oh my god.” Polly tries to take y/n from Thomas but he wasn’t letting go, he couldn’t.
“Thomas we need to lie him down and stop the bleeding, you have to let him go.” Said Ada as she stares at her older brother, noticing the fear in his eyes as she slowly pried him off y/n. “Finn has already called for an ambulance, they’ll be on their way.” She explains, using a part of her dress to apply pressure onto the wound.
Thomas can only stare in horror, “is he—is he breathing?” He asks, his voice shaking in fear. Ada takes notice of that as well and makes a quick check, “he’s still alive...but he needs a hospital quick or else he won’t make it.” She turns to her aunt and brother.
Polly looks anxious as she turns to Thomas only to see him sitting back, he was growing dizzy and faint. His vision was slowly going dark as he hears his aunts cries, feeling her hands on his shoulders as she tries to keep him up but that didn’t seem to work. “Y/n.” He looks over at his friends limp body as Ada begins to scream his name, trying to bring him back to reality but it was alreayd too late. His vision suddenly goes dark as he falls back on the floor.
“Tho—“
“Thoma—“
He can hear his name being called.
“Thomas!”
He’s quick to open his eyes, staring at his aunt who stood Over him. A drink in hand as she sighs in relief, “finally you’re awake.” She says as Thomas groans. He slowly sits up from the couch and asks. “Where’s y/n?” He remembers everything that happened today, all of the anxiety that he had suddenly comes rushing back.
Polly sits next to him and hands him the drink. “In the hospital, doctor said that he’ll be awake soon, Just needs time to rest and to heal.” She explains as tommy takes the drink from her and chugs the whole thing down.
Polly watches Thomas closely as she takes the empty glass from him and sets it down on the coffee table. “Y/n.” She suddenly says, catching Tommy’s attention. “That boy, he’s caring and loving.” She mumbles out. “He told me that you two were friends, but I know that’s a lie.” She slowly turns to give Thomas a look that he knew far too well.
“So tell me, what is y/n to you?”
Thomas can only look away, not wanting to answer his aunt but he knows that he’ll have to tell her how he really felt or else she’ll force it out of him. The two have been friends for as long as he can remember, the two helped each other out. Y/n taught him how to be free without having to fear, he taught him what love really was. He was their when Thomas needed someone and when he had breakdowns that no one else knew, He was special to him he’s—
“—my everything.” He randomly blurts out.
Pollys eyes soften as she stands up and collects her things. “Then you tell him that, he’s a sweet boy and I can tell that he means a lot to you, Thomas.” She approaches her nephews side and placed a hand in his cheek, stroking his cheek like a loving mother would. “When he wakes up, you tell him how you feel and be happy.” She whispers, placing a soft kiss on his head. “Now rest, will visit the hospital Tomorrow. I told John and Arthur to stand guard at the hospital in case anything were to happen.”
Tommy’s eyebrows knit together. “Do they know?” He asks Polly who shakes her head. “I doubt your brothers know a thing, hell they could barley figure out that Michael was their cousin when they first met him.” She says, a bit disappointed that her own nephews couldn’t recognizes their own cousin.
“Get some rest Tommy, I don’t want you out of this place until morning.” She warns with a pointer finger as tommy groans, leaning his head back, he was still worried for y/n and he wanted to see him and make sure that he was really okay.
“Thomas.”
He hears his aunts voice and looks up to see her with a soft look in her eyes. “He’ll be okay.” She says, Immediately knowing what he was thinking as she gives him one last smile and leaves the room.
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floatinginwords · 4 years ago
Text
Saved by the Devil (13b/?) - Tommy Shelby
Summary: Tommy's thoughts and some current events from his perspective. 
Paring: Tommy Shelby x fem!reader (romantic) 
A/n: little thing I wrote at 1am from Tommy’s perspective of chapters 12 and 13. Its not an official chapter since it kind of came out of the blue, wasn't planned and doesn't really further the plot. So i guess it could be considered more of a blurb maybe? I don't know. But I thought it was really sweet to see some of the events from his die and how he feels for the reader. Hopefully you all enjoy and have a beautiful day.
He didn’t call her after that night. He regretted it. He didn’t call for that whole week. And for that he considers himself an idiot.
Thomas was struggling hard with his feelings for you. Truth be told, he thought he was still hung on Grace. A ghost that was just never put to rest. Until finally that night. He did get reservations to that dinner place for him and Grace but as soon as they met up he couldn’t bring himself to sit through anymore conversation with her. He never invited her or even brought up the idea. It wasn’t love that kept her on his mind anymore. It was just the idea of what Grace was and held long ago. But all that was gone. And he soon asked her to leave as thoughts of you creeped in.
He called Ada first, and he told himself he was just checking on his little sister. But really he was hoping you’d pick up. And you did.
When he picked you up that night, he felt like a teen again. You could never tell on the exterior how nervous he was. You opened the door looking beautiful as ever and it was like the moon and the stars perfectly aligned for him.
Tommy couldn’t tell you when he fell in love with you. You peaked his interest the first time you met him, of course. Beautiful and mysterious, you are. He didn’t expect to ever meet you again but he was glad he did. As time went on and as he got to know you he couldn’t imagine a better person. He notices the way your too okay with being punched or stabbed. Like it’s happened too many times, how you look over your shoulder every 5 minutes, the way you never let your self fully asleep. You haven’t told him everything about your father. A thought that always makes him grit his teeth as guilt wraps around his heart.
He wants to protect your from everything. He can’t do that and he knows your fully prepared of defending yourself. But as he holds you close on the dance floor, hand on hip, your face flushed. He knows that there is more to this relationship than just business cause it didn’t matter what happened in that moment but he knew now and in any future he would take a bullet for you.
He brought you back to his place not knowing where the night would lead. He wanted to dance with you again. The feeling and warmth of your body close to his in that intimate moment nothing compared. You agreed and he could finally see you letting down your walls. You weren’t tiptoeing around him. See, he had an idea that maybe you were attracted to him. And usually Thomas was so smart at reading people but you were just frustrating. You only let people see what you want them to see. A trick only few have mastered.
He was going to kiss you. He didn’t know what was going on in you mind, but he was going to do it. If that phone hadn’t rang who knows where you two would have wound up. Probably interrupted by Grace. Never ideal to have an ex walk in on a moment like that. He wasn’t in the room when it had happened. But he saw the hurt for a moment in your eyes before you masked it up. He was at a loss for words and then you left. And he didn’t call.
Epsom was the next time he saw you. He couldn’t meet your eyes. He was ashamed for never having called you and he didn’t have a good excuse. He could feel your eyes trained on him the entire time as he tried to run through the plan. The plan you and him created. When everyone when off in different ways, he stopped you. Cause he could never not say a word to you, now can he?
He tells you to keep an eye out. What he really wants to say is I’m really sorry about the other night, I wanted to call I wanted to see you but I never had the right words. But I i never have the right words with you. I just seem like I do. But he doesn’t say it.
He talks to may, the inspector, and finally begins following the general. Until Grace comes on by interrupting him. She caresses his face tells him how much she loves him, that she will leave her husband. Words that a couple a months ago he would of swooned over but he states at her and just shakes his head. There are no other words to be said. That chapter is closed.
He loses his window with the general. His backup a Lizzie, never showed. He was running out of options and time. So he gets someone to find you. And the thoughts in his head are making him sick. Cause he knows what situation he getting you into. But he doesn’t know any other way. And though he needs your help. A part of him knows you deserve better than this and wouldn’t care if you had left him stranded right there.
But as he grips your hand, his fear more for your life rather than his, you agree. And he promises the two of you nothing would happen and of course that only gets broken within a matter of minutes. Thomas rushed to where you would be, desperately reaching you,fearing the worst. He would always blame himself for putting you through that.
It was there, right when he shot the general he saw you cry. He never saw that. Not from you. And it was the most vulnerable he had ever seen you. He held your face in his hands deciding that since it was all over he could do things right. He could treat her right. It was going to be ok someway somehow.
But of course for Tommy Shelby life doesn’t always happen that simply. He tried to fight off the cops that take him away but it doesn’t take a genius to know that these aren’t regular corrupt cops. So he goes willingly thinking of all the ways to get out or die fast if needed. The he he hears a cry. And if he believed in heaven he would if swore it was an angel.
“Thomas!” She cries
And his heart breaks as goosebumps rise from his skin. She said his name.
And the thought echo's through his mind as the car drives him to his assumed grave site
She said my name. 
Read pt.14
Tags
@babylooneytoonz @captivatedbycillianmurphy @enamouravecleslivresetlechocolat @evelyn-4034  @ms-dont-care  @owenniasstars @shikin83 @lauren-raines-x @cactisjuice
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anjuschiffer · 4 years ago
Text
The Wayne Twins
Just woke up from a 3 hour nap and decided to make some tea when another story concept came to me.
I’ve always been down for bio!dad bruce, hell, I’ve been writing content for it (and even holding an event for it), but!
What if... Bio!dad Bruce AND Bio!mom Talia, meaning... TWIN AU (although Talia isn’t exactly the best mom here either :D)
So basically, Marinette is brought up the same way as Damian, but instead of a sword, she’s an expert at using a rope dart
Her rope dart is black with a single red feather, a sliver dart at the end
However, while Damian is taken to Bruce, Marinette isn’t. Instead she remains with Talia
She’s taught about the miraculous, that she is to investigate the whereabouts of it and to retrieve it
Marinette accepts the mission and wanders the world to look for it
3 years pass, Talia yet to receive any news about Marinette, wondering if she also betrayed her like Damian had. It had been a year since her last report
Turns out, Marinette was still on her mission, but hadn’t been able to contact her mother about her progress on it. She had a lead that told her that the miraculouses were somewhere in France
Marinette had almost been caught by the French government when she tried to cross the border, but still managed to get by.
Now using a fake identity, Marinette got an apartment and school documents to ease her mission
Now it was a matter of time to find it
Now, at this time, Damian was more open towards Bruce, finally dropping the last piece of information Bruce needed to know
“Father, there’s something I need to tell you.” He hesitates when Bruce remained silent. “I have a sister.”
“As in-”
“No, not older.” Damian digs through his pocket, having a picture to show him. Single photo he has of the two of them. “My twin.”
Ensue Bruce losing his shit because why is he finding out about his other child through his own? Why didn’t Talia tell him about Marinette?
Ensue the hint for Mari, taking a year to track her down at Paris since Damian didn’t know of her whereabouts for 3 years and Talia wasn’t giving out any info about Mari
Once they do find Marinette, she’s managed to find and have the Ladybug miraculous in possession, despite Fu’s gut telling him it was a bad idea, but gave it to mari because Wayzz said she was the perfect candidate
However, Mari has been conflicted on whether to give it to her mother, her principles being tested.
Also, something like this happens
It had been a walk home, after fighting an akuma and once more giving Adri-Chat Noir the cold shoulder that she feels like she’s being followed
She quickly whips out her rope dart, tying up the stalker, only to find Damian before her
“Damian. What...what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your father?”
“He’s our father.” Damian emphasizes, not untying himself at all
At that Mari purses her lips, quickly setting Damian free, but doesn’t run up to him even though she wanted to. After all, Damian was the only person she considered family. She resented their mother and grandfather
“You still havent answered my question. What are you doing here?”
“I want you to meet father.”
“No.” Mari growls, her rope ready to attack if she hand to. “He’s not my father.”
“Whether you don’t consider him to be or not, he is by blood.”
“No he isn’t!” She attacks, leading to the two fighting, although Damian mainly dodges or has to free himself from multiple captures. “You’ve gone soft. Mother would be disappointed.”
“Like you’re one to talk.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Shouldn’t you have reported to her already?” Marinette loosens her grip on her dart, allowing Damian to take advantage and knock her out.
She wakes up at her apartment, where she’s face-to-face with Bruce
“Marinette, meet our Father.” “Father, meet Marinette, my sister... your daughter.”
Bruce remains still, observing the girl, wondering why Talia never told him about their little girl 
Bruce attempts to talk to her, but she breaks out of the apartment, once more fleeing from them
Bruce attempts to go after her, but Damian doesn’t let him
“She’ll keep doing that until she wants to face you. I may not know what she’s been doing for the past three years, but I did grow up by her side for 10.”
Marinette looks for a new apartment and tells her mother about the situation at hand, Talia reassuring her everything is going to be fine and to just focus at the mission at hand
Some time passes and the opportunity finally happens. She’s appointed guardian. 
“Mother, I finally know where the miraculous are.”
“Good. Once you have them in your possession, we’ll finally have the ability to complete the League’s goal.”
While Marinette is happy that her mission is almost over, she doesn’t want to hand them over to her mother, something beckoned her to not do it
If living in Paris taught her one thing, it was that she had the power to change
her classmates had shown her kindness despite her cold demeanor, the bakers around the block showed her love and warmth, treating her like family whenever she dropped by
Her coldness melted around these people, even around the Lila girl that got under her skin. While she didn’t like Lila for attempting to frame her for her mistakes, she certainly did like her for her story telling. She should consider being a director or writer.
She knew that she can change, that she didn’t have to suffer from Talia’s rules anymore if she didn’t return
For Talia never truly loved her... she was a mere tool to her...
“She can’t have you.” Marinette muttered to herself, looking at the kwamis with sadness “She’ll abuse you. She’ll hurt you...just like she did to me...and Damian.”
While away from Talia, Marinette had learned more about herself, learned that she liked to sew, that she loved parkour and acrobatics
She learned these, because she was away from Talia, from her controlling mother
A month passed, Marinette now in Gotham, realizing that if she wanted to escape Talia, she was going to need help.
As soon as she stepped into Gotham, she already found it.
She had carelessly let her guard down, surrounded by thugs when Nightwing had fended them off
“You shouldn’t be out here at this ti-”
“I need to speak to Batman.” 
“And why’s-”
“Let me speak to Bruce.”
“Hold on a sec, how-”
“He’s my father and Damian’s my brother.” Marinette cut to the chase. “I need their help.”
Dick nods and brings Marinette to the batcave, where Marinette rushes to hug Damian, which confuses the hell out of Tim and Jason
Upon seeing Bruce, Marinette awkwardly hugs him, apologizing for the mess their first encounter was
Bruce hugs her tighter, happy that Marinette finally acknowledged their relationship
“So why are you here?” Jason asks, Marinette telling them about her situation, explaining to them her plan (don’t know if I should make her show them the kwamis or not...)
They agree to help
Talia ends up dropping in the next day, much to the family’s surprise (although they already had everything in motion)
Talia ends up dodging the other bats, chasing Mari and cornering her in a room, Marinette telling them that she can handle it, much to Damian’s worry
“Marinette, come now. Hand them over.”
“I won’t.” Marinette defends, looking at the miracle box in hand. “I will never give them to you!” 
Talia rages, beginning to tell marinette how soft she had grown, that she was throwing her opportunity of a life time, that she was stupid for casting aside her right to the ‘throne’
“No I am not! While I’m not the prodigy like Damian, nor am I strong like my father, nor as cunning as you, I know one thing! I’m happier than I’ve ever been since I left the League and I want to continue to be that way!” Marinette yelled, slipping on the Cat Miraculous, shouting catacylsm, holding the miracle box with her other hand
“What do you think you are doing?”
“Something that all the previous guardians should’ve done.” With a shit-eating grin, Mari destroys the box, Talia screaming
Talia gets taken down by Bruce although she ends up escaping and retreating
Marinette finally feels a giant weight off of her, collapsing to the floor
Of course, the plan still isn’t dont
Marinette brings back the Miracle Box (gave Dick the earrings to hold...other rather wear. She changed the earrings to be magnetic) and vows to protect them with her life
“So that’s it, isn’t it?” Damian says, sitting next to her. “What’s next?”
“Dunno.”
“Why don’t you stay here?” Damian offers, Marinette taken aback. “I know you have nowhere else, so why not just...stay with us?”
Marinette looks at the rest of the family, looking at the bruises and cuts on their faces, smiling back at her. Overwhelmed by her emotions, Marinette begins to cry, Damian simply sitting there as she cries.
Her wish was finally granted. She can finally have a warm, kind place to call home.
Tags: @theatreandcomicfreak @damianette-is-life
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Sun Touched Zuko AU!!
Tag list @chaoticidiott @mypureessence @fae-tales-personal
This won't be a soulmate AU but it will be Zukka for sure.
Zuko was born sick, so sick in fact that he was going to die. His mother prayed to Agni that he would live, prayed that the sun spirit would save her first born son. In the gardens she held him up to the Setting sun pleading. The suns rays caught in the amber stone on top of the alter set for worship and moved to Zuko's eyes. His hair changed from solid black to a golden blonde, he opened eyes and began to cry. He was touched by the Sun and lived.
Ursa couldnt have been more happy, her son was alive. "My little sunshine" she whispered with tears rolling down her cheeks as she held him close and rocked him in her arms.
When Ozai saw his son's golden hair he demanded that it be dyed black, but was willing to compromise when Ursa suggested they wait until he turns 5 so that the dyes don't harm him.
The first time they dyed his hair he asked his mom why, his bright molten eyes looking at her with confusion "because your father wants you to feel safer my sunshine, people will stare at you with that bright shining hair of yours"
"Oh, okay" was his only response that day. He never questioned it anymore when they touched up his roots weekly.
After his mother left him he felt alone in the world, his dad still staining his golden hair each week with more and more ink. All the while berating him when he couldnt control his fire well. Even with being touched by the spirit and having powerful fire he couldnt manage to control it, couldnt understand how to. Until master Piandou taught him swords and he applied his teachings to his fire.
The first time he used his swords to control the fire Piandou was more than impressed "Prince Zuko! That was amazing!"
"Thank you Master, thinking of the swords as an extension helped me control the flames better" his smile soon faded when his father appeared
"Yes, great work Zuko, I am pleased to see you have learned how to control your flames, however mixing these arts in this fashion is unacceptable. Come with me"
After that he wasn't allowed back at Piandou's unless he was accompanied by either his father, or an advisor to make sure he practiced correctly.
On the day of his fated Agni Kai Zuko had just gotten his roots retouched before entering the war meeting. When his father burnt him for speaking out of term his tears felt like lava running down his cheeks. He could smell the fresh dye burning and it hurt his lungs.
His Uncle immediately took him under his wing when he was banished "Zuko, my star," his Uncle pleaded when they were at the western airtemple "i need to dress your wound, the sun spirit would not want you to lose your eye"
Zuko reluctantly let his Uncle clean and dress his wound several times on their travels until it healed and scarred over. When it finally healed over Iroh smiled "there you go sunshine" he said as he wiped the tears forming in Zuko's good eye away "do not cry Prince Zuko, you are safe"
He still dyed his roots every week to uphold his place as prince. He did not know that his golden hair was his own symbol or royalty, that the sun chose him. Sure he knew the sun saved him, but he could not understand that it was because he was chosen.
When he arrived at the South pole and discovered the Avatar, he felt a breath of relief wash over him. He was going home, but he heavily underestimated the Avatar's abilities and lost him.
Soon he started a cat and mouse game with the monk and his two southern water tribe friends. After the northpole he slacked on dying his hair, not because he didnt want to, he simply didn't have the resources to do so. So his roots started to grow in gold.
"Well your looking golden Zuzu" Azula's voice startled Zuko when he walked into the hut they were staying in.
"Azula, what are you doing here" he glared at his younger sister
"You know, im my country. We greet one another before asking questions" she responded coldly "i was just passing through"
"To what do we owe the pleasure of your visit Princess Azula?" Iroh piped into the conversation
"No wonder you two click, always so quick and to the point. Father sent me, family is suddenly very important to him." She turned her head to look out the window "father regrets your banishment. He wants you home"
Zuko was frozen in place "father regrets?"
"I can see you need time to think this through, ill be by to collect you in the morning" Azula smiled softly before a flash of worry flashed on her face for a split second as she walked out the door.
When Azula's true intentions were revealed Zuko and Iroh managed to flee from her and her soldiers. When they stopped at the river to cut their hair Zuko looked at Iroh when he watched the inky hair fall into the river "your gold hair will conceal your identity fairly well my nephew"
"Yeah, it'll hide me pretty well" nobody had seen Zuko with his golden hair before. He hadnt seen his hair fully gold since age five.
On their travels his hair grew fairly fast now that it wasnt being dyed so often. It would catch the eye of several earth kindom citizens when he passed through towns. When he and Iroh were sitting against a building with a hat in front of them a young woman approached them and slipped a few gold pieces in "I know this might sound creepy, and I'm only asking this because I cannot resist. But may I kiss your hair sir? You can say no, I won't take my money back."
Zuko flushed a light shade of pink and scratched the back of his head "uhm, s-sure?" He mumbled out and leaned his head towards her. She placed a tender almost motherly kiss to the top of his head.
"Oh, your hair is so beautiful sir, it's like a million rays of sun. I wish you luck, i can only spare a little but if you'd take these small meals Im sure they'd help you" she said while offering two wrapped meals
They accepted and thanked her with small bows "what a nice young lady, huh?" Iroh said and nudged Zuko's arm
"Yeah, she was very nice"
When Zuko and Iroh found Azula and Aang battling in an abandoned earth town Azula pointed out his hair "wow Zuzu! You look just like a star! Where'd all that ink go?" When the fight ended and Iroh was injured Zukos cheeks felt like magma was pouring from his eyes.
"Zuko, I can hel-" Katara approached them
"LEAVE!" Zuko cried out, turning to Katara with golden tears running down his face.
While on the Ferry to Ba Sing Se Zuko was angry, not angry at anyone or anything in particular, he was just angry. "Hey" the voice of a man at his right side broke his brooding "names Jet"
"Lee" Zuko muttered out how cover name
"Yknow Lee, I hear the captain is eating like a king while we're stuck eating all his left overs" he paused "want to help me... liberate some food rations?"
It didn't take much to convince Zuko to join him. They liberated the food quickly without getting caught. Zuko found himself wandering the the front of the lower deck, leaning on the railing. "You know, as soon as I saw your scar, I knew exactly who you were" he paused as he approached Zuko "youre a refugee, like me. Thing is though, I've never seen hair like yours, let along your eyes."
Jet reached out and brushed Zuko's hair out of his face. "The freedom fighters could use a starlight like you, what do you say?"
Zuko smacked Jets hand away gently "thanks, but no thanks, you don't want me on your team, trust me"
In Ba Sing Se Iroh and Zuko made a life for themselves. They managed to have their own tea shop and apartment. Things were doing great, until Zuko went after the Avatar's bison, mind you he went there originally to take the bison captive, but when he saw that the creature was hurt he sheathed his swords and removed his mask, letting his golden hair free as he approached the bison "hey buddy, are you okay?" His voice was much softer than usual "oh no, here let me help you, this is going to hurt and I'm sorry, but I need to pull out this thorn" he talked to him the whole time he was pulling out thorns, gently rubbing the fur near it to sooth him.
When he pulled all of the thorns out he took out his swords "alright buddy, dont worry about the swords, im going to use them to cut you out of these chains, shhh its okay, you're okay" he continued to talk him through each of the six shackles "there we go big guy, now you need to get out of here, go find your friends- ah! Hey!" Appa knocked him over and gave him a thanks with a big sloppy dog like lick across his torso and face before taking off.
"You did well my nephew" Zuko shot up at his uncle's voice
"Uncle?" His startled voice wavered
"Now lets get you out of here and back home." And that they did.
When they made it back to their apartment Zuko felt dizzy, he held his head in his hand "I dont feel good" he managed to get out before collapsing and breaking a vase
"Zuko!" Iroh shouted as he rushed to his nephew to make sure he didnt hurt himself on any broken glass.
In his Angst coma Sokka heard his mother singing
"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me Happy! When skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you, so please don't hide my sunshine away"
His sisters voice mocked his hair "youre hair makes you look like a dandelion, a weed can't take the throne!" Her cackling filled his ears.
There was a blinding light and a woman appeared with flowing gold hair and bright fire eyes "my dear star, why do you let yourself hurt so much?"
"I don't, who are you?"
"I'm Agni my dear, you do know I chose you right?"
"Why?"
"You are special my dear, your mother made sure to get my attention and I am so glad she did" the woman spoke as she placed her hand on his cheek. Filling him with the image of her reaching out to kiss his eyes as a baby. "You are meant for great things little star." Her voice faded as she herself did
He soon woke from his coma with a fresh breath. Taking charge in making sure his Uncle's tea shop did well, and helping him where he could. However Azula soon found them and summoned them to the palace under the guise of serving tea to the king. Things didnt end well and Zuko was thrown into a cave beneath the City with Katara.
"Why would they throw you in here!" Her angry and hurt voice filled his ears as he tried not to make her feel more uncomfortable by staying as far from her as possible.
when she mentioned her mother he turned around and spoke "thats something we have in common"
"What?"
"My mother was my only source of safety... she was the only one who defended me against my sister and my father. And one day my father was ordered to... do something terrible and my mother protected me somehow, I dont know what happened but when I was half awake she told me goodbye and when I fully woke up she was gone."
When they were separated and Azula had Iroh trapped she approached "Zuko, nows your chance to come home. Help me defeat the avatar and you can come home. Without inking your hair. Isnt this what you've always wanted? You'll have your honor back, you'll have fathers love back"
And despite all he had gone through he still chose the path of returning to his father. When he did return his father wanted to dye his hair but Azula spoke up against it "father, if I may. Zuko's hair is a symbol of the fire goddess Agni, if he were to take the thrown it'd be best to show that she has chosen him"
"Yes, that is true. Alright, off with you two"
Reuniting with Mai wasnt smooth, she confessed to him that her and Ty Lee connected and while he was saddened he just smiled "I'm glad you two are with eachother, you work well"
On the day of Black sun, with the information he had learned from Iroh and armed with the fact that his father was practically powerless without his bending. He approached him.
"Zuko, what are you doing here?"
"Im here to tell the truth"
Ozai let out a snort "telling the truth during an eclipse?" He waved off his gaurds "what do you have to say"
"First of all, Azula lied to you, she was the one who shot down the avatar"
"What?! Why would she lie about that?"
"Because the avatars not dead, he's probably leading this invasion right now"
"Get out! Get out if you know what's good for you!"
"Thats another thing, I'm not taking orders from you anymore"
"You will obey me or face the consequences!" As Ozai stood Zuko drew his dual swords and took a stance
"Think again. I am going to speak my mind and you are going to listen"
He went on to question his father "you knew Agni chose me as a child and that was the reason my hair turned gold. You knew this and yet you hid that from the world, you darkened my hair for years, and you have the gull to tell me I was lucky to be born. You! The tyrannical leader set out to destroy the world. you! My own father challenged me to an Agni Kai just for speaking out of term, how could you possibly justify a duel with a child!"
"It was to teach you respect!"
"It was cruel and it was wrong"
"Then you have learned nothing!"
"No! I've learned everything, and I've had to do most of it on my own" he paused "Growing up we were taught that the war was our nations way of spread joy, what an incredible lie that was, the other nations don't love us, they fear us, and they are right to fear us, we've brought the world to an era of hate and suffering, now we need to fill it with one of peace and joy"
"Your uncle has gotten to you hasnt he" Ozai laughed
"Yes, he has, and I've come to another decision, im going to join the avatar, and im going to help him take you down."
After announcing this he turned to leave but stayed to learn about what happened to his mother
"She's alive?" He said in a soft voice as a single golden tear rolled down his cheek
"Perhaps," Ozai paused "now i see that banishment is far too small of a punishment for treason" he said as he gathered lightning and shot it at Zuko who quickly redirected it right back at him before escaping.
After finding that Iroh had broken out of prison Zuko fled the firenation in a small war ballon and followed the Avatar's Sky bison to the western air temples. Their first encounter didn't go so well and he managed to burn Toph's feet but after helping them defeat the assassin and managing to form his words more properly and giving a genuine apology to Toph he was on the team.
Some time after joining and managing to break Sokka's dad, Suki and Chit Sang out of prison they were all sitting around the fire. "So.. uhm Zuko" Aang started
Zuko turned to look at him "yeah?"
"I have to ask, pretty bunch nobody in the firenation has golden blonde hair right?" Zuko absentmindedly ran his fingers through his hair at the question
"Yeah, and when you were first chasing us your hair was black, whats up with that?" Sokka added
"Oh, uh, well my hair was always dyed black because my father doesn't like my gold hair..." he paused "when I was born, I was sick, so sick that my parents thought I was going to die. But my mother pleaded with Agni to spare me, she took me to the sun worship alter in the palace gardens at sunset and held me up, pleading. When the last ray of light from Agni, my hair turned golden and I began to cry. So, in a sense the sun gave me my life"
"Like Yue!" Sokka piped up
"Like who?"
"Princess Yue! She was born sick just like you, and the moon spirit saved her. Well, she's the moon spirit now"
"Woah woah wait, is this the girlfriend you said turned into the moon?"
"Yep!"
"Well, just don't go falling for Zuko now, dont want to have your first boyfriend turn into the sun" Suki teased him
"Hey, at least I'd have a full set of spirit lovers"
Zuko's face turned beet red and the group laughed at him. Over the next few weeks of them being in close quarters Zuko found that he was growing feelings for the water tribe boy. Anytime he'd look at him he felt his stomach do a flip. But he didnt have time to think about his feelings.
Even though the sun touched prince tried not to think about Sokka on the mission with Katara, he couldn't help it. When they were returning Katara piped up "I know you like him" she paused to watch his surprised face "its okay you know, its fine if you like him. I dont have like you to let my brother like you. I may be cold to you but im not a monster like your father" she tied off the sentence by staring off "and besides, if Agni chose you, I think you would be safe for Sokka"
When they got back he heard sokka shout "You're back! Thank La youre safe!" Turning to Katara he expected to see Sokka running to hug his sister. Instead he was tackled to the ground with a hug from Sokka "how did it go Katara?" He asked from the ground while quite literally snuggling into Zuko with this hug that was still very much happening.
"I found him, and he was just so pathetic, i couldnt kill him"
Sokka then stood up and helped Zuko to his feet and placed a quick sneaky kiss to his cheek before moving to hug his sister, leaving Zuko frozen in confusion. He remained frozen until Suki came up to him "he's trying to confess silently, he's weird like that, corner him later if you want to hear an actual confession"
He however didn't manage to corner the now seemingly overly flirty blue boy until they were at ember Island. It wasnt until just before bed when Sokka was walking past Zuko's bedroom door. He reached out grabbed Sokka's shirt and yanked him into the room before slamming the door shut and pinning him to it. "What are you doing?"
"Wh-what do you mean? You're the one who dragged me into your room, what are you doing?"
"Dont play dumb with me Sokka, you've been flirting with me since I got back from my trip with your sist-"
"Actually ive been flirting with you since the temples, you just didn't notice until I kissed you"
"You mean until you missed"
"What?"
Zuko smirked "you missed" he mumbled before leaning closer "you went for a kiss but you missed"
They ended up spending the night sharing a room and a bed. When the morning sun peaked through the windows Zuko curled back into sokka who in turn pulled him closer. Both refusing to wake up until Katara knocked on the door and opened it "breakfast is ready, if you two love birds want some warm food you better hury and I better not see any hickeys"
"Ugh! Katara we just cuddled!" Sokka said as he burried his face in Zuko's hair.
Katara simply laughed "alright, but still, hury up."
When the day of the comet came and Zuko had to separate from Sokka he saw the worry in his blue eyes "Ive got this Sokka, Agnj chose me remembe, besides, I've got Katara with me and she's powerful" he placed a quick kiss to Sokka's lips "go take down those ships, and I'll see you by the timd the sun rises tomorrow."
And he was right, even though he was shot with lightning and Sokka broke his leg they both came out of the battle alive and together. When Zuko woke up to find Sokka curled up against him he smiled and let out a soft breath of pink fire. Relief.
"Woah, do that again" Sokka's groggy 'just woke up' voice rumbled against his shoulder
"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you, do you mean this?" He let out another breath of fire, this time a pale purple
"I didn't know you could do other colors of fire"
"Well, I couldn't until I went to the sunwarriors, Agni spoke to me there"
After Zuko's Coronation the firenation began righting their wrongs. It was a long struggle for sure. However two years into his reign with Sokka having practically moved in he found that he would soon have a partner to help him through these struggles.
The day had only just begun but Sokka was dragging Zuko to the turtleduck pond where they often sat together to simply relax. Sokka seemed a little antsy this time though "what's wrong Sokka?"
"Uhm, well, I have something I need to ask you," he paused and reached into his pocket while sinkning down to one knee. Zuko's breath caught in his throat as he saw Sokka pull out a betrothal becklace, the band was made with a fine red silk and the center piece was gold with a carving of a sun with a wave inside of it. "Zuko," he took a shaky breath "you've been by my side for two years now, you've held my hand through war and peace, quite literally, and you've done so while loving me whole heartedly. I can't imagine my life without you in it." Zuko could feel golden tears threatening to fall fram his molten eyes "Zuko, will you marry me?"
"Yes!" He heard himself responding before he could even think "Agni, yes Sokka, of course I'll marry you!"
Sokka moved from his kneeling position to lifting Zuko up into a kiss, holding him right under his rear. Zuko held his face in his hands as he pressed his lips to Sokka's as he was lifted up quite unceremoniously.
Once he was set down Sokka helped him put on the betrothal necklace. He reached up to touch the Golden pendant and smiled up at Sokka with gold tears falling down his cheeks.
Their marraige was held not long after, joining the southern water tribe and the firenation in a strong Union with a mixed culture wedding blues, silvers, reds and golds filled the wedding and reception as well as suns and moons.
Agni smiled down on the wedding that day, her chosen sunshine found his moon.
Yue smiled on them that night as they stood on the balcony holding one another. The boy who protected her finally found his light.
>Woo boy that was a long one! I sure hope you enjoyed it!<
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wri0thesley · 3 years ago
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many many anons under the cut bc i didn’t want anyone to feel like i was ignoring them and i wanted to respond to u all! warning for small text too, it was so long i wanted to make it look smaller fgbnjkgkjn
Anonymous asked: NAT... you can write WHATEVER you want! It's your blog, and I hope that rude anons can learn to respect that. I used to be on your blog just for jjba content too, so when you started getting into jjk I was indifferent but eventually you dragged me into jjk so hard!! I already like bnha, so seeing you write for it only made me happier! I hope that you continue to write whatever make YOU happy:) ❤and yes, longer fics certainly doesnt mean it's better, quality over quantity
ahh i’m happy that you are here for all three!! i always feel so accomplished when someone is like ‘your constant screaming made me think about jjk <3′. all three of the fandoms are fairly popular and i tag everything v carefully so i hope people who do use the filtering find that useful!!! 
Anonymous asked: Goodness gracious. People really be out there thinking they're entitled to dictating what kind of content you should be making
i think part of it might be that i do take requests so people feel like they have like . . . a certain right to certain kinds of my content? i take requests mostly bc they keep me motivated, i like making content for ppl who cant find what they want bc i’ve Been There, but maybe people think i am a pushover? idk i am just trying to have a good time!!!
Anonymous asked: Hi. I only started following you a few days ago but please ignore that rude anon. People are so fucking entitled towards writers it's insane. I recently had someone throw a fit for "spoiling" something in my fanfic, even though the fic was about a manga-exclusive character, so what did they expect?? Overall I've really enjoyed your writing so random assholes coming to guilt you is just a shitty thing that happens. Keep going with what you wanna do.
ah gosh anon i’m sorry about that :(. i’m always super careful tagging spoilers and stuff but like, if someone clicks on a fic about say, naoya or the steel ball run boys and is mad that i spoil something they havent found out yet . . . yeah thats on them fgbnkjgfkjn
Anonymous asked: That...that anon had the nerve to say "we". The fuck?! No no no anon, YOU'RE the only one talking and you're just talking for yourself, don't you dare try and lump us other anons/followers up with you to make yourself look like you're right. We love you nat and we appreciate you. It's your blog, you're allowed to write about whoever and whatever. This brain dead anon just needs to either go read someone else if they're that salty or write their own stuff if they're that impatient.
gosh i WISH some of my mad anons would just write their own stuff honestly. idk if this anon thought they were talking for everybody but i guess they expected anons to agree with them and not be mad at them. i appreciate u anon ;_;
Anonymous asked: Just want to say that ily and you’re one of the best jojo fanfic writers in my opinion 💗 I don’t think you’re half assing jojo fics and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being multi fandom. A lot of jojo blogs have started posting about jjk so it’s not as if you’re the only one. I’m not sure why you get hate like this but I think it’s just because you’re one of the popular writers and that makes people bitter for whatever reason. Keep being you and posting about the things that make you happy 💕
honestly after so long writing for jojo - i’ve written well over 200 jojo reader insert fics - sometimes it feels like i’m retreading stuff, and that’s when i take a break bc i dont wanna half-ass stuff!!! i love all of my fellow jojo friends who are posting about jjk too, i appreciate them <3. 
Anonymous asked: Hey my dude, ur writing has really grown since the jojo days and its better and awesome seeing u become happier to branch off and write in different fandoms 🤌🤌 those stupid anons are just boring farts that couldnt be bothered making their own content 😤😤 is it possible to block them to ease ur mind?
hello anon!! i run a statcounter for IPs but it doesnt always work for ppl who access through the tumblr app, i don’t think; a lot of the anon hate i get i just use the ‘block’ option, but last night got to me because i’ve been getting that kind of writer a lot which is . . . a bad look for the jojo fandom who are, as a whole from the ones i’ve interacted with, lovely!!! <3
Anonymous asked: People often forget, the person behind art or writing, is just another regular fan. You deserve to be happy with what you create and we should be thankful you share your talent with us. You also have right to change your main interests, and it's very normal thing. Jojo is one of the MANY things that you write for and all you get from that is a like or share. Its not your job. It's your fun thing to do, in spare time. You haven't betrayed anybody. That person was just rude, selfish and bored.
i am just a person doing my best!!! anime fanfic is one of many interests i have and i already devote a lot of time to it honestly, i love when people tell me they’ve enjoyed something i made bc it makes it feel worthwhile but equally it gets to me a lot when people are rude because i am usually trying my hardest. 
Anonymous asked: Bro that jjba anon... the entitlement🤮 Fam, you write whatever you want to write😤 -Saturday
dfnjbkjnkgf i find most fic readers are NOT entitled at all and are just grateful but when they are . . . oof. 
Anonymous asked: It's funny how people throw "we got you popular" and they think you start apologize and cry. Your writing and passion made you gain few numbers on a follow counter, nothing more. I think I'm too old for stuff like this, we are nothing more, but +1 on a number scale. You ow us nothing, we ow you nothing. Popular... Funny word. You just write for fun of it, fake scenarios about someone's manga characters. It's not that deep. Have fun and don't listen to people like this. I knew it's not that easy, but they are really not that important as they think they are.
extremely fun fact for people who think ‘popularity’ is important to me: i would 100% rather have 10 people who regularly comment, reblog my fics with tags and interact with me than 100 people who read my fic and either leave a like or simply move on. i think this is true for the VAST MAJORITY of writers tbh. i’m glad that people think i am a ‘popular’ blog (i am not in the grand scheme of things, one of my ex-best friends used to run a kpop reader insert blog with like 30,000 followers) bc it gives me an ego boost lmao, but i really just want people to read and enjoy the stuff i write!!! 
Anonymous asked: I followed you a while ago for jojo and when my friends started getting into jjk i was like...eh sounds like work...but now that I see you writing for it I feel really motivated to get into it!!! I really enjoy your writing and I want to be able to read the new stuff too!
ah anon i really hope you like it!!! it’s only one season rn if u wanna watch the anime and there isn’t too much of the manga to catch up on either but it is a lot of fun and it’s nice to be in a fandom that’s like, excited about a new chapter and new plot developments every week!
Anonymous asked: Pls dont reply if u dont want to! <3 I'm not sure if this will be of any help to you or not but this is the kind of thing that often helps me and is the only way I know to try comfort others so I wanted to give it a go~
Now im not gonna say 'dont feel bad pls' bc I know that's not really useful but what I do think is useful is just discussing why that anon and many others feel the need to respond that way. As someone who follows a lot of writing blogs myself and have done for a long time, i've seen my handful of favourite writers come and go for different reasons, lose motivation for a while, gain motivation for a while, go from multi to single fandom, or single fandom to multi. Often times as a reader it can be upsetting when things change but it's also important as a reader to understand that some things aren't in anyone's control, I can't control what my favourite writers become a fan of or lose interest of, I can't control things in their personal lives that may motivate or demotivate them to write, but what I can do is support them as long as they're active, and if they move on to do things i'm no longer interested in or i'm the one that changed interests, rather than being upset that they're evolving to do other things or that they're not evolving with me, I think it's important that I still feel thankful for the works that I enjoyed while we were still on the same page and this is how I personally deal with those negative feelings. I think the anons that lash out at you probably just dont know what to do with themselves, maybe they got attached to your works while you were still only a jjba blog and now that you're evolving they're upset, while I understand how they feel, they're going the completely wrong way about it. I've learned to take these things and turn them into something positive for myself or at least something bittersweet that I can move on from but the anons that lash out at you for whatever reason probably haven't learned this yet. Maybe it's because i've moved on and changed interests a lot myself that I know how these things go for both writers and readers but those anons maybe haven't experienced this as much so they dont know what to do with themselves other than complain that you've changed and throw insults at you in an attempt to get you to revert back. None of this is because of the quality of your writing like they want you to believe, it's literally just because you've evolved and while some of your old followers might not like the new content for no reason other than it not being their cup of tea, it's definitely not regressed at all. You are pumping out a lot of content right now but every single thing i've read has just been better than the last. Things that really stand out to me is how well you get characterisation down to a T and all of your dialogue is just on point and from the pov of a reader I think those things seem the hardest to get right so I am such a huge fan of your stuff at the moment and I can tell you're really putting so much thought and care into each and every fic no matter how fast you're producing it, I think the fact that you're also proud of what you're writing at the moment really shines through as well and I just adore the passion that radiates from every completed request as well as in the responses for the subsequent thirsts resulting from these works that appear in your ask box later (I know i've sent quite a few by now~)
Just to be clear i'm not defending those anons in any way, while I can understand what they might be feeling/why they're reacting in the way they are I still believe it's just so immature to be hateful online point blank. Even during a time where I still got upset with writers if they started doing something else I still never targeted that negativity directly to the writer and sending rude or hateful comments whether on anon or not never something i'd stooped low enough to do even when I still had an immature way of thinking, however, I hope that it might make it a little easier to brush them off if we try and understand what they're really upset about, and that they're just putting the blame for their negative feelings onto the wrong thing rather than coming to terms with change themselves.
hello anon!! i appreciate the long message. i do feel bad for people who have no interest in what i’m currently producing and i get that they feel upset about it; i’ve watched a lot of fellow jojo writers move on completely or just stop posting, honestly. this kind of thing is why i was so intense about asking people if it would be better if i made a separate blog but the resounding answer seemed to be ‘i’m just vibing with whatever happens and i’ll block tags as needed’. 
i often return to works by my favourite reader-insert writers who no longer write for the fandoms i like (and i read stuff bc it sounds interesting or i trust the person who writes it), but change can be difficult and i guess at this point i’ve - whether u like me or not lmao - been a fixture in jojo reader-insert tumblr for a While so it’s probably kind of jarring. 
anyway i really appreciate you and the nice words! <3 
Anonymous asked: hi nat! I just wanted to pop in and say that regardless of what fandom you write for, the love and care you pour into your writing and into interacting with followers who care about your work as well is really obvious. you're doing this for FREE and people should appreciate what you've given us so far, since ultimately this blog should be for you, whatever that means to you at any point in time. it's ok to jump fandoms! the important thing is that you feel good about what you're producing and that it makes you happy. everyone else is just a bonus - but, seeing you on my dash certainly makes me happy : ) I hope you feel better soon!
thank you anon! i’m feeling much better and happier today. birthdays are very difficult for me (i did not think i’d be alive at eighteen, much less 25!) so this event is definitely kind of a way for me to concentrate on something else, and i’m a little bit extra sensitive atm. i appreciate you so much, thank you for the kind words!!! <3
Anonymous asked: Hello! I just wanted to say, write what YOU want and make YOUR writings as long as you'd like. 💖 To the anon who is like "We mAdE yOu FaMoUs dOnt HalF asS iT" stfu, let people do what they wanna do. If you think they half do it, write something better and longer you asshat.
this is an open invitiation to that anon to send me a link to their writing blog and i’ll hype them up i promise <3 
Anonymous asked: nat i'm so so sorry about that ask please know that your older followers don't share the same opinion :( sometimes people forget about the living, breathing person behind the screen smh. you are not a machine. you absolutely should not restrict yourself to posting about one fandom forever. yes, we're first pulled in by your amazing content, but we stay for your wonderful personality and work ethic. please just keep being you, taking up projects you feel comfy with! <333 bless u
ahh thank u anon! unfortunately i actually am a writing robot, i’m sorry u had to find out this way. my jojo chip has been removed, please send it back so i can continue to not half-ass my jojo work. fgnjkbgjkfn thank you so much angel!!! i appreciate you ;_;.
Anonymous asked: i don’t think it’s fair for other people to say shit about what you choose to write about because on tumblr and other writing platforms, writers are constantly developing how they write and the fandoms that they write for. it’s not fair for someone to criticize that “you don’t care about jjba blah blah blah” because you can enjoy new shows/manga. and like you said you’ve grown so much!! proud of you nat and im glad that ive been able to read your works (sincerely other nat)
i am STILL waiting for you to come and fight me other nat fgnjkbnf. it’s nice to be enjoying different things! i am constantly learning new things and reading new works and making new friends and improving and i think that’s important. i do care about jjba - a lot! but i can care about other things too! <3 
Anonymous asked: I may not be one of your oldest followers, but i've been here for almost 3 years. Yes, i started following u for ur jojo content, but let me tell u, ur newfound motivation and enthusiam for other fandoms was honestly contagiuos for me. And i say this as a person who finds very difficult to move from one interest to another. Jojo is great, but so are other fandoms. Please don't let some faceless scum rob u that motivation. This is ur blog and u r always free to write whatever u want.
honestly, i have been there! i am autistic and i have special interests and watching other people move on to stuff i’m not vibing with has made me sad in the past, but i want people to be happy more than anything and sometimes that means new things and change! <3 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I saw that rude anon message & I just wanted to pop in & say that they're wrong. You're not betraying anyone & you should write whatever it is you want to write. I followed you for jojo & I'm not familiar with the other fandoms that you write for, but personally it makes me SO happy to see you enjoying new things! It's always good to find joy wherever you can, so keep writing what you're interested in. There a lot of ppl who want to see you happy and healthy <3
honestly the idea of it being a GRAND BETRAYAL is so funny, i am just writing anime fanfic here and thriving!!! tysm anon! <3
Anonymous asked: Those anons can piss off! They have no right to judge how long or how short your writing is. If they want longer content write it their damn selves. I think your writing has improved wonderfully and I originally followed for Jojo and I'm enjoying all the content period. I don't even watch jujutsu ( not my cup of tea personally) but I love seeing the creativity and the interactions. You write what makes you happy Nat and that's on that! You don't owe anybody anything! I know how hard writing is and when your consuming new content it's hard to make content for something else. That doesn't mean you don't like it any more your just doing something different for a while. Love you and your content and I'm enjoying the love your putting into your content whether long or short. ♥♥💕 Sending love your way!
honestly my idea of ‘short content’ is still over 1k words, i’m not good at reeling myself in! i guess it’s bc they see like, 1.5k jojo fic versus 5k jjk fic but it’s not that i didn’t enjoy the first fic, just that the point and the story came a lot quicker and so did the natural end! thank you anon, i appreciate you ;_; 
Anonymous asked: Hello! Just wanted to let your know that I think your writing is awesome, and that you should write for whoever and for whatever you want to! You dont have to stay loyal to one fandom or anything, and your followers shouldn't expect that from you! It's not like they are paying you to write, you are doing this for free, and because you enjoy it and it makes you happy! If they dont like your stuff, they dont have to follow you, they can go to other blogs that cater to their taste, and they definitely don't need to be sending you such hurtful comments, and they dont get to make you feel sad about your writing! Just because they followed you during your earlier stages of writing, doesn't mean you owe them some type of loyalty or compensation! You can write literally whatever you want as long as it makes you happy! That's what your hobby and your blog are for! I hope you know that alot of your followers love your work and think that you are an amazing writer and are down to support the work that makes you happiest! 💖💖
ahh thank you so much anon!!! i am always so bowled over by how many people are nice to me when something like this happens, i am sending you my love <3
Anonymous asked: don’t listen to them!! we love you as a writer no matter what you write, because you’re a good person and a talented writer!! you shouldn’t have to change what you write to please a bitter person, and if they only want jjba, they can go to another blog instead of bringing you down. you’re doing amazing and they should be thankful you grace us with your talents!!
to be totally honest, if i was half-assing or not vibing with content i was making i just. wouldn’t post it. like you’d be able to TELL when i was half-assing stuff just to get words out (source: i have re-read my own nanowrimo works). there are lots of great jjba blogs who could do with more followers n interaction!!! i hope they do find them and i hope they’re nice to them :(. 
Anonymous asked: Please don’t pay attention to that anon. People only have that confidence when they have anon turned on. Them looking through your blog despite feeling that way is peak fan behavior and speaks to how addicting your writing is. Naturally, you can’t please everyone and there will be people who are irrational and feel entitled to tell you what to do or what to write no matter what. Trust me when I say they’re a small minority and are more likely probably passing viewers rather than regulars. I check your blog about three or more times a day because I love reading not just your fics but also your takes, banter with other anons, or even random updates. Brainrot posts? LOVE TO SEE IT!!! Desk update? AMAZING!!! With that being said, don’t feel pressured to continue pushing out content for others. Write what makes you happy! You’ve been writing for JJBA for 4 years and it’s completely normal + healthy to get into new media. I’m not sure if it would mean much, but your love for JJK has gotten me excited to start it too!!
anon i really hope you enjoy it!!! sometimes these anons remember stuff i’ve posted and said better than i do tbh, i am living in their heads rent free i guess! 
Anonymous asked: I've been following you for a couple of years and honestly it would always be a joy to see when you posted. Your writing has improved and I'm very happy you're enjoying yourself ! I know it hurts hearing and seeing stuff like that but I'm happy you're here. I'm honestly blessed everytime you post. Your writing is phenomenal. I love reading it even if its characters that I dont care for. You capture their essences so well and weave an amazing tale within the prompts and whatnot. You're amazing nat!
wehh thank you so much!!! re: the improvement, i really don’t feel like it has and then i re-read something i wrote when i first started and i’m like oh my god maybe it has. did i really write about jotaro acting like that. 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat. I recently became a follower of yours and I'm really saddened to see you get hate. You seem like a genuinely sweet person with amazing talent! I'm a writer myself and, unfortunately, get the same kind of comments. And when you get those comments, it doesn't leave you feeling motivated. People need to understand that people can and will, at times, grow out of fandoms. (1 Not just that but you're doing all of this for free. Again, I'm sorry you got such a comment. But please know that I'm proud of how far you've come. I'm proud that you're living a life that makes you happy. And no matter what fandom you may find yourself in next, I will always enjoy your writing. Take care of yourself. (2 end
HELLO NEW FOLLOWER I LOVE YOU (i get a lot more a day now than i used to and i feel guilty about not being able to look through so many blogs but i do try and follow back other writers for my fandoms!! ;_;). i’m sorry you get the same kind of comments! i’m always just happy to see people i like enjoying new things, even if i have no interest in it (hello to all of my mutuals who write for hunter x hunter and haikyuu, not interested but i’m sure you’re having a great time and i support you!!!). 
Anonymous asked: I'm sure you're getting a barrage of supportive messages now (at least I hope so) but I figured I'd add my voice, because I'm a longtime follower. Your writing is, and always has been, wonderful. I've been so happy to see you and Haz get to a place that works for you both. Idk if it's obvious for everyone, but you seem like you're emotionally in a pretty good place most of the time these days, and it makes me really happy to see that. I followed years ago for JJBA content, but I stayed because regardless of what content you put out, I find your wit delightful. And I'll stick around even if you move fandoms entirely, because whatever content or editorializing you produce is going to be worth reading, regardless of what it's for.
ahh, anon!! thank you for sticking around so long, sorry if you’re old enough to have been around the vore and jorts and spider rohan fiascos! <3 i am definitely a lot more stable than i have been and - barring the Pandemic Related Mental Health Issues - happier! i’m glad that it’s noticeable! <3
Anonymous asked: It actually makes me mad how entitled some people are. Nat, you're not a content creating machine and those who expect you to be are not worth wasting a thought on. Your love for something is not measured in word counts and for you to write every day without getting burned out in the slightest you really must have a burning passion and huge dedication to your craft. If others decide to send hate then allow me to send admiration because I can feel your love and hard work in each post you make!
i try and write every day bc it’s super good for my little ocd/autistic brain to have routines and distract itself, so i’m glad other people can enjoy them because that makes me motivated to carry on! like, i write for myself mostly bc the content i want i sometimes get find, but filling requests and writing for other people also leaves me with happy warm fuzzies too! i appreciate you!! <3 
Anonymous asked: If people only care about your writing for the jojo porn that’s on THEM, not you. Your writing was amazing when I followed about a year ago, and it’s only gotten better and will continue to get better! I think it really comes through when you enjoy what you’re writing and it adds a whole other layer of worth to it, because not only are you making free content but you LIKE that content and we can all gush about it together!!! More than just fans, I think you’ve created a community here and we don’t just stick around to read smut, I promise you that. -Reronon
i do miss having a discord community bc it was nice to talk to everyone in real time but it was hard work, i am glad that people feel like they can just come into my askbox and gush! i’m not very friendly in real life and people tend to think i am cold and stuck up so i work very hard to try and seem friendly and approachable online, which is much easier for me because i get to think and re-draft before i type! <3 
Anonymous asked: Hi Nat! I’m sure you’re getting a lot of messages like this right now but I just wanted to say for what it’s worth that, as a person who originally followed you for jjba content and hasn’t watched/read any of the other series you’re currently writing for, I’m honestly still along for the ride. This is your blog and you’re allowed to do what you want with it and put out what content you feel like writing. Sometimes??? People acquire new interests??????? Shocking! I know absolutely nothing about jjk or bnha but out of curiosity still read some of your posts about them and even though I might not Get It, I still enjoy them because I think you’re a very talented writer! Honestly, as long as you’re still writing, I’m still down to clown, and whenever you take breaks (which are important!) I’ll still be waiting for your return or supporting and respecting your decision to stay away longer. Don’t let the entitled assholes get you down. Utilize YOUR blog and YOUR space however YOU choose. Your talent and kindness speak for themselves. Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️
anon i care about you and i am so appreciative of you and everyone for sending me such nice messages! i am running out of ways to say it but it’s true, it really does mean a lot to me ;_; <3
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elliethesuperfruitlover · 4 years ago
Text
It’s Okay
A/N: I’m writing a self-indulgent fic due to fact that I’m feeling  ✨ insecure and ugly ✨Yes this is me projecting. I like Heaven’s Design Team, and Unabara is one of my comfort characters, and he’s also v tall, and he looks like a good hugger. So why not write him being the fluffy being that he is.
Warnings: once again another breakdown, body image talk, mild nsfw mentions, mention of panic attacks
Tag List (even tho i know none of y’all dont know the show but shh): @misskittysmagicportal,  @bisexualnathanyoung, @super-unpredictable98, @joz-stankovich, @hufflepuffheroine, @ghouls-buddy, @magic-multicolored-miracle, @seancekitsch, @the-freckled-luba, @neuroticpuppy
“What’s wrong?” Neptune asks, seeing you curled up on the corner of the bed, hands covering your face. He’d just come in from another day of work with the team. They were working on an animal that’s seen and heard from far away. It’d been going okay, and they were making a lot of progress.
  You’d been denying him an answer to how you were feeling all day. Yes, he deserves to know. But something told you that you were being a burden. And that he didn’t need to hear your issues. He has a lot on his plate. And you didn’t want to stress the poor thing out. It’d only add fuel to your emotional fire. So you bottled it up. Seemed to be working just fine. Nothing a little forgetting can fix. You were really struggling. You can’t tell anyone how you feel, or else they may think it’s their job to help you. And it’s not. It never is. But they do it somehow. You’d always felt like a burden, maybe it was due to how everything in the past had worked out for you (horribly). Or maybe it was just due to your extreme anxiety issues, as well as being atrocious at keeping friends. They always left. And never came back. And somehow, that mean-spirited little voice always said it’s your fault. You’re the catalyst. You’re why everything falls apart around you. You’re the reason everyone’s stressed and upset. So that’s your philosophy. How’s that been working out, huh?
“I’m tired. And I’m upset for no reason. I’m also not feeling the most confident. But I can’t really remember a time where I did feel good about my appearance. I just straight up think I’m ugly. ” you mutter, tears forming in your eyes. 
  You’d been waiting for your body to finally cave in and let you cry. Weeks of missed panic attacks. Days without breaking down. First it seemed fine. Then the fatigue set in. So did the muscle aches. And feeling like sitting in the corner for the entire day. Thinking of what you could be doing. And shaming yourself for not being able to make a full meal. It was just so much all of the time. Everyone has their limits, but those also change. People grow. Somehow, though, it seemed that you were left out. And that everyone seemed to be doing just fine. Except for you, of course.
“Well, it’s fine to be upset, or tired. And I’ve mentioned that if you need help sleeping, I’m glad to help you. Be it cuddling or simply letting you be. But the latter part is where I find the issue. Your appearance is fine. But I know people can see each other differently.” he whispers, sitting down near you, but it seems as if he wasn’t close enough.
“Well, I honestly don’t know how you manage to call me cute sometimes. I really don’t see it. Never have.” you state, falling back completely onto the bed, arms spread out.
“I only say it because it’s the truth. If I think you look cute, or nice, I’ll tell you. There’s no use in me lying. What is this stemming from?” he asks, putting his hand on yours.
“I saw some of my old classmates from school and just....how? How do I equal to them? I feel like everyone’s moving on, and looking good. And feeling confident. But I just can’t seem to.” you say. Your eyes floating to a specific spot on the ceiling that looked like a snowman, and you thought about it for a while.
“Everyone’s different. And I think you look perfectly fine. And some people may just be feeling better. It doesn’t make you any worse.” he replies softly, twisting to face your flat form on the bed.
“Yeah, but I fucking hate everything about myself. Every time I seem to have something good, that dumbass voice comes back and I’m right back here again. I love my hair, then it’s a burden and I want to get rid of it. I look nice in these jeans, then I think I should lose the weight so they aren’t as tight. What the fuck is wrong with me?” you ask, tears finally falling onto the comforter.
“Aw, come here.” he says, laying down so he can look you at you closer. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Sure, you have anxiety, and yes, you have intrusive thoughts, but that’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less of a person. And it doesn’t make you any less attractive.” Unabara whispers, holding you close.
  You begin sobbing into his chest, and your hands grasp at his sweater, trying to find something to hold onto before you fall from whatever was keeping you above the water. Dark, deep waters. Every part of you wants to scream, but you can’t seem to get that giant bubble from your chest. Neptune’s hand gently moves up and down your back, and you gasp for air as wave after wave of feeling go through you. It’s like you never get a break as tears fall repeatedly down your face, drowning you in a weird way. Your chest heaves as you wrap around Neptune, face hidden in his neck to get away from the reality of him seeing you like this. Vulnerable, and some would consider it torn to the ground. Somehow by your own feelings, you’d been torn to the ground and for what? Feelings were supposed to tell you what’s going on, not ponder if every person you’d met in your entire life was offended by you, and if they were it was always your fault. Never anyone else’s, always yours. That’s not true, but somehow you’d managed to get it engrained in your skull do much that no lobotomy would help.
  They never seemed to leave you be, it seemed. One moment everything’s fine and it’s all good and the next you’re on the floor again, wondering whether or not you should’ve said this, or that. Or said these things, or even simply existed in their presence. You had done nothing wrong, yet only the most harsh and cruel punishments were reserved for you with your name in bold, bright letters. Nothing could help you at this point. Not the warmest, and most inviting of baths, or the coldest bowl of ice water to dip your head in, disrupting you from the shaking you’d been experiencing. Even his strong arms couldn’t help as you trembled in his grip. You hadn’t even noticed that his eyes were closed, almost as if he was trying to forego tears. See look what you’re doing to him. You thought, but it was shut down as he opened his eyes, and looked directly at you. Throwing you off for a moment before you went back to dreading everything about yourself once more. Except the hiccups were subsiding, and the feeling in your fingers and toes had begun to come back. Unabara’s head was tilted onto yours, and you matched your breathing to his, calming down somewhat.
“Can you do something really quickly for me...please?” he whispered, deep voice echoing in your mind. You gently nodded, and he moved to get up as you still sat on the bed, the ends of your jacket crumpled and partially wet.
“You don’t have to do this, but I’m going to go from your feet to your head. List what you don’t like about the body part.” he said, and you nodded once more as he gently nudged your foot, looking at you to engage.
 You thought for a moment and replied in a quiet voice, rough from the tears.
“I don’t like how big my feet are. Sure, it may be fine with dancing, and it’s not that noticeable. But shoes my size are upwards of 70 dollars.” you reply, fiddling with your hands.
“Mm, I think they’re fine. I like the fact that we can share shoes sometimes. It’s more space for other things. Legs?”
“They’re oddly shaped. And they’re discolored too.” you stutter out, feeling goosebumps tickle your skin as his hands gently moved up your form.
“I think they’re quite lovely. And you’ve got quite a kick. Strong too. You can fit in more odd positions, may look uncomfortable. But you always manage somehow.” he says, kissing the top of your knee.
  It went on like that for a while, with you talking about how you hated the fact that your thighs don’t match in color to how the divots in your hip made you feel like you should look different elsewhere. When one part of the body was talked over, you both removed a piece of clothing, the same for each person. Somehow you’d even managed to mention that you didn’t like the fact that your stretch marks could be seen with a simple flick of a waistband. And only he got to see the secret ones. Hidden from many views. Eventually, it got to the point where you were mostly nude in front of Neptune. His eyes averted from where some would be looking most. When his eyes did, however, drifted southwards, it wasn’t one of sexual thought.
“What about here?” he gently asked, hands landing on your hips.
“I don’t think I can complain about her. So much to learn. And so many feelings, good and bad. But none to blame.” you mutter, gasping as a skilled finger made its way to where you seemed to want it most.
“I think it’s wonderful. And not in the “I think vaginas are nice because I only think of it in a sexual manner way. I think they’re neat. And there’s a lot to learn, and much more to unlearn as well. I always like how you feel on the precipice of orgasm. Almost like a vice, but not one that I’d be upset about. You’re usually the most vocal, pillow over your face, or face pressed into my shoulder. Then, you’re there. And I’m there, or close enough. You just look so peaceful and emotional in the most wonderful of ways. You’re not worried about how you look. Or how your hair looks spread across the sheets unevenly. You just feel everything at once. And I find that so amazing.” he whispers into your ear, and it took everything in you not to take him right then and there.
  Unabara didn’t give you a quickie that night. Or the ol’ suck and fuck. He took his time, even after you cried on his shoulder. And admitted your flaws to him. He made sure you were fine every step of the way. Holding your hand. Breathing into your neck as to not overstimulate his own ears. He even took the time to kiss over every last mark and scar from childhood on your legs before eating you out. I mean, yeah, you were ready to shove his entire face in your vagina. But the sheer amount of effort he went through to make sure that you were comfortable, and happy (in that moment at least). It honestly could push you to tears. How could someone care so much about another? They’d go through hours of love and appreciation, just to see you smile, or almost wake up the neighbors. 
  Tears fell down your face once more that night as you cuddled into Neptune’s chest. You listened to his heartbeat as his hands lay once more on your back. He looked at you with so much love and support. And you couldn’t help but crack under that pressure. Pressure to reciprocate. You always did. Somehow. Even in those moments where you pondered researching panic methods just to feel some relief. But you made it. And he found you worthy. Then slowly, slowly, you found yourself worthy as well.
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misterbitches · 4 years ago
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I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed
Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:
keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.
The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:
- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)
-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose
- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try
But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.
0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.
1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.
Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.
I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is
2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.
There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.
The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.
So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.
At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.
fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.
Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”
If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.
Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.
And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.
Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao
Antiblackness
Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.
FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....
Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.
Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.
There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.
ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that
It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.
These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.
Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao
Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.
Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.
It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility
Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.
This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.
There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.
additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.
Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...
We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.
That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.
HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:
a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?
These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.
Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.
History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)
Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)
Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:
Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!
Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3
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